I Know I'm Old, But...!

You know and I know that I'm getting to be old...well, maybe older is a better choice of words!

Now I've heard that the mind is one of the first things to show signs of fading. Exercise of the brain is as important as exercise of the muscles. As we grow older, it's important that we keep mentally alert. The saying, "If you don't use it, you will lose it," also applies to the brain, so...

Below is a very private way to gauge your loss or non-loss of intelligence. Take the following test (6 questions) and determine if you are losing it or are still "with it."

OK, relax, clear your mind and ... begin:

1. What do you put in a toaster?


Answer: "bread." If you said "toast," then give up now and go do something else. Try not to hurt yourself. If you said,"bread," go to Question 2.

2. Say "silk" five times. Now, spell "silk." What do cows drink?


Answer: Cows drink water. If you said "milk," please do not attempt the next question. Your brain is obviously overstressed and may even overheat. It may be that you need to content yourself with reading something more appropriate, such as Children's World. If you said "water," proceed to question 3.

3. If a red house is made from red bricks, and a blue house is made from blue bricks, and a pink house is made from pink bricks and a black house is made from black bricks, what is a green house made from?


Answer: Greenhouses are made from glass. If you said, "green bricks," what the devil are you still doing reading these questions??? If you said "glass," then go on to Question 4.

4. Twenty years ago, a plane was flying at 20,000 feet over Germany. If you recall, Germany at the time was politically divided into West Germany and East Germany. Anyway, during the flight, TWO of the engines failed. The pilot, realizing that the last remaining engine is also failing, decides on a crash landing procedure. Unfortunately the third engine fails before he has time to attempt an emergency landing, and the plane crashes smack in the middle of "no man's land" between East Germany and West Germany. Where would you bury the survivors? In East Germany or West Germany or in "no man's land"?


Answer: You don't, of course, bury survivors. If you said ANYTHING else, you are a real dunce and you must NEVER try to rescue anyone from a plane crash. Your efforts would not be appreciated. If you said, "Don't bury the survivors," proceed to question 5.

5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?


Answer: One degree! If you said, "360 degrees" or anything other than "one degree," you are to be congratulated on getting this far, but you are obviously out of your league. Turn in your pencil, and exit the room. Everyone else proceed to the final question.

6. Without using a calculator -- You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales. In London, 17 people get on the bus. In Reading, six people get off the bus, and nine people get on. In Swindon, two people get off and four get on In Cardiff, 11 people get off and 16 people get on. In Swansea, three people get off and five people get on. In Carmathen, six people get off and three get on. You then arrive at Milford Haven. What was the name of the bus driver?


Answer: Oh, for crying out loud! Don't you remember? It was YOU!!

Now, don't feel too bad about this test! After all, no one but you will ever know how you did, right? If it makes you feel just a little better, let me pass on to you what we "Old Folks" call the definition of Success! Ready...?

At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.

At age 12 success is . . . having friends.

At age 17 success is...having a drivers licence.

At age 35 success is...having money.

At age 50 success is...having money.

At age 70 success is...having a drivers licence.

At age 75 success is...having friends.

At age 80 success is...not piddling in your pants!

Lot's of truth in the last part, don't ya think? Well, that's enough of this silliness for a while! Let's go and get some fresh coffee, my friend!