Wish I Had Said This...!

There are times when someone comes up with an idea that is brilliant!

My friend, Minerva, sent me this...and I wish that I had figured it out a long time ago! I could have saved myself a lot of trouble if I had only known the science, ya know?

Two New additions to the Periodic Table of Elements


Element Name: WOMANIUM

Symbol: WO Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)

Physical properties: Generally soft and round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts when treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.

Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands!



Element Name: MANIUM

Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (200 +/- 50)

Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as younger samples.

Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: CHILDIUM) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.

Now most men have known something like this was true for a long time! It's nice that somebody could finally give us some scientific proof that what we thought was just a very strong possibility...was in fact true! Ain't science great?

Now, my friends, let's get some coffee and sit outside for a bit! No science needed to know that's an enjoyable experience!