Just Trying To Do My Part...!

If you need some help losing a few pounds after the holidays, this might help!

I found this expert information from this site right here, and you can read the rest of this article, as well as some other interesting tidbits if you are so inclined! I put the link in here just so you know I didn't make this stuff up!

I mean, I'm good but not THAT good!

Narrow slice rule: Cutting food into narrow slices reduces calories. By cutting very thin slices it is possible to eat an entire pizza, muffin, or doughnut with a very minimal caloric intake.

Eating while standing rule: Any foods consumed while standing have very few, if any, calories (and are obviously digested much faster).

7 a.m. rule: It is important to start the day with a healthy meal. Therefore, any foods eaten before 7 a.m. do not count toward the day's caloric intake.

7 a.m. rule, midnight sub-clause: Foods eaten after midnight automatically have a reduced calorie count.

Mental exercise rule: A sharp mental state of mind is the most important part of exercise. Therefore, a good psychological mindset for exercise is the most important part of losing weight. Hence, just thinking hard about exercise will shed the pounds.

Liquid food rule: Foods in liquid form are much lower in calories than solid foods, since food that doesn't have to be chewed is better for a diet.

Meeting snack rule: Since meetings are a job requirement, snacks eaten at them have no calories.

Thin food rule: Foods that are thin obviously have much fewer calories than thick foods. Because of this rule, baklava should be considered a low-calorie food, and anyone can see that crepes are better for a diet than pancakes.

Potluck food rule: Like cookies at a meeting, food consumed at a potluck is also free of calories (editor's note: although we have no idea why).

No need to thank me! After all, making you all slim and trim is just part of the service provided by the Hermit! And just to show how much I want to help you, feel free to send me any cookies or chocolate that may be a temptation while you are trying to shed those unwanted pounds and inches!

Of course I don't want to eat them for my own enjoyment, but I'm just doing my part to remove all of these nasty ol' calorie laden temptations from your sight in order to make things a lot easier for you!

After all, I gave up worrying about the added waist line a long time ago, ya know? Just my burden in life as a certified "cookie remover"!

Now, my friends, let's go to the kitchen and have some fresh coffee. Feel free to bring any extra cookies you might want to get rid of, OK?