Thursday, April 7, 2016

A Very Important History Lesson...!

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel.

Beer required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture.

Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

 The wheel was invented to get man to the beer and vise versa.

 These two were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals.
2. Conservatives.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were less skilled at hunting (called 'vegetarians' which was an early human word meaning 'bad hunter') learned to live off the Conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of the liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men evolved into women. Others became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that Conservatives provided.

Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass for obvious reasons.

Modern Liberals like lite beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: many liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their men.

Most college professors, social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, film makers in Hollywood, group therapists and community organizers are liberals. Liberals meddled in our national pastime and invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink real beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are members of the military, big game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, engineers, corporate executives, athletes, airline pilots, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other Conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when Conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history. It should be noted that a liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to this post.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be shared immediately to other true believers and to just piss-off more liberals.

And there you have it. Let your next action reveal your true self, I'm going to grab a few beers and BBQ some steaks!

Well, there you have it. Thanks to Baby Sis for furnishing the material for today's post. I do hope that no one is offended by anything I've said, but sometimes life is cruel. Just gotta go with the flow, ya know?

Coffee out on the patio this morning.

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Another Unsung Hero Of The Old West...!

For Western Wednesday, I thought I'd do another post about another former slave.

This man was truly good at what he did. In fact, when you look at his record it almost seems unbelievable. The accounts of the day say that all the stories are true, though. From the site at Listverse, let's take a look at Bass Reeves

Bass Reeves



Photo via Wikimedia

In the years after the Civil War, the Indian Territory of modern Oklahoma had a reputation as the most lawless place in the country. So many criminals sought refuge there that Native American children had a song about it: “Oh, what was your name in the States? Was it Johnson or Thompson or Bates? Did you kill your wife, and fly for your life? Say, what was your name in the States?” Of around 200 US Marshals killed in the line of duty, 130 were killed in Indian Territory during the period.

So when “the Hanging Judge” Isaac C. Parker arrived to bring order to the territory in 1875, he sought to commission the best of the best as US Marshals. And he lucked out with Bass Reeves, a former slave who would become arguably the finest lawman in the history of the West.

Born in Arkansas, Reeves fled to Oklahoma after punching his owner out during a game of cards. He apparently lived with the Creek and Seminole nations during this time and became fluent in several Native American languages. As a Deputy US Marshal, he would count on his good relationships with the tribes to stay one step ahead of the outlaws who left cards promising to kill any lawman who stepped over the “Dead Line” into Indian Territory. But even the most vicious outlaws were no match for Reeves, who captured over 3,000 criminals and killed more than a dozen in 27 years as a marshal. He was so successful that he used to head out with a wagon, a cook, and one other lawman, do a circuit of Oklahoma, and return with a dozen wanted criminals tied behind the wagon. On one occasion, he bumped into three notorious outlaws coming down a trail. A short gunfight later, two of the outlaws were dead and the third had surrendered. On another occasion, he rode into the middle of a lynch mob and rescued their intended victim. Nobody in the mob even tried to stop Bass Reeves. Later, he halted a budding race war in a small town by arresting everyone involved.

But Bass’s career wasn’t without tragedy. In his most famous case, he had to track down and arrest his own son, who would be sentenced to life in prison for murdering his wife.

Not only did Mr. Reeves have more than his share of backbone, but he was true to the oath that he made when he became a U.S. Marshall. A true man of character, I'd say!

How about if we have coffee out on the patio this morning. Temps are going up to 81 they say!

Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Influencial Cowboys Of The Old West

Some cowboys, unknown for the most part to the majority of us, were really well known in their day. Sort of like rock stars of today, I reckon.

Not that it makes any difference, but these men just happened to be black. There were quite a few black men working as cowboys back in the early days, especially in Texas. Why in Texas? I really couldn't say, except that work was available, back breaking as it was. Good cowboys were always in demand.

Addison Jones

Dubbed “the most noted Negro cowboy that ever topped off a horse,” Addison Jones was known for his skill at breaking (“topping off”) untrained wild broncos. That involved clinging on for dear life while the bronco bucked and tried to throw the rider off. As such, most cowboys retired from the job in their thirties. Addison kept at it until he was 70. It was said that he could “read a horse’s mind by staring it in the eye” and he was equally renowned at riding, roping, and cattle driving.

The historian J. Evetts Haley described one of Addison’s more impressive roping tricks: “He would tie a rope hard and fast around his hips, hem a horse up in the corner of a corral or in the open pasture, rope him around the neck as he went past at full speed, and where another man would have been dragged to death, Add would, by sheer will and power on the end of the rope, invariably flatten the horse out on the ground.”

A popular legend in Roswell, New Mexico claims that when Addison got married, all the local cattle ranches wanted to show their respects with a gift. Unfortunately, they all had the same gift idea and the newlyweds found themselves saddled with 19 cooking stoves. Not much else is known about Addison’s personal life, but his cattle skills were enough for him to be featured in a popular folk song of the time called “Whose Old Cow?” Sadly, the song’s description of Addison includes racial epithets and an unfortunate accent, so it naturally isn’t performed much anymore.

Now, breaking horses when in your 70s doesn't seem like a good way to retire, but I reckon we do what we have to do.

Coffee out on the patio this morning.

Monday, April 4, 2016

Another Mysterious Ship For Monday Mysteries...!

It seems like the sea can really hold onto her secrets, some for a very long time!

There is even a reward offered for the discovery of this next ship, but it has never been claimed. From what I read over at Knowledgenuts, it may never be found. A true mystery...along with so many others held by the sea.

The Mysterious And Elusive ‘Mahogany Ship’
By George Stevens Jr. on Friday, November 29, 2013

The most treacherous coastline in Australia has claimed over 200 ships. All have been documented and accounted for—except one. Several sightings of an elusive vessel known as “The Mahogany Ship” in the 1800s have intrigued archaeologists for years. The mystery ship is possibly Portuguese, which means it pre-dates Captain Cook’s trip to the South Coast and has the potential to re-write the history books as to who made it there first.



In Victoria, a state in southern Australia, exists the country’s most dangerous coast. In its history of explorers, immigrants, and traders, more than 200 ships have been swallowed. The coast is traversed by the Great Ocean Road, which is one of Australia’s most beautiful driving routes. It is from this road that the famous “Twelve Apostles” rock formations can be seen.

The coast is lined with small towns, beautiful bays, and views, and shipwrecks—lots of shipwrecks. Wreck Beach still holds a rock-encrusted anchor of one ill-fated ship, and museums along the coast exhibit many other treasures.

All these vessels have been recorded in the pages of historical documentation. Except for one.

In 1836, a wreck was seen by two men in the sand dunes near the town of Warnabool on the Shipwreck Coast. In itself, that was nothing unusual for the time, but the wood of this ship was dark. Darker than the woods normally used for a vessel. The rumor spread that the wood was mahogany, a material not known for being used in ship building. It became known both in official documents and in popular culture as “The Mahogany Ship.”

The ship was also described as looking very old, possibly Spanish, and of a very different type than was known to sailors in the 1800s. A storm was believed to have washed the sand off the ship allowing its discoverers (two shipwrecked men themselves) to see it.

The Mahogany Ship was sighted again 10 years later and reported by a Captain Mills. Mills is reported to have stood on the deck of the ship. However, once again, the wreck disappeared.

Over 30 sightings of the wreck were claimed until the late 1800s, but by the 20th century, the wreck seems to have disappeared completely. Its story became a mystery to the coast, and despite its obvious absence, made it a local icon.

Hope was not lost that the wreck would be found, and in 1992 the Victorian State government offered a reward of a quarter of a million dollars for its discovery. The reward has never been claimed, despite a number of reputable archaeologists investigating.

There is some importance as to the existence of this ship. The ship is possibly of Portuguese origin, and would pre-date Captain Cook (who didn’t discover Australia, but is supposed to have mapped the south coast). If found, it means a lot for the pages of history and who the real discoverers of the South Land actually were. Some believe that the ship was part of a secret Portuguese mission to find the fabled “Great South Land” that became Australia.

Other theories have been presented, but the truth remains a mystery. The Mahogany Ship remains one of a number of maritime mysteries in the Southern Hemisphere.

I don't believe we will ever know half of the mysteries held by the sea. I reckon we are not supposed to know some things.

Coffee out on the patio this morning, where it's turning into a beautiful day!

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Sunday Is For Funnies...!

I guess that we are stuck in a rut for sure. Oh well, it could be worse, I reckon.







One more for luck...!



Caught you off guard with that last one, didn't I?

Coffee out on the patio this morning!

Saturday, April 2, 2016

The Sad Cases Of The Human Zoos...!

I know it's hard to imagine how cruel and uncivilized something like this is, but these actually did exist.

It wasn't that long ago that we found a new way to humiliate and degrade our fellow man. Not what you wanted to hear this morning, I know. However, it's only by exposing these terrible forms of "entertainment" that we can prevent them from showing up again!


The US Put Defeated Filipinos On Display


Photo via Wikimedia

After the war between the United States and the Philippines, the victorious US decided that they would further humiliate their defeated foes by putting them on public display as “savages.” Many Filipinos today are still angry about the way their people were treated. The beginning of the 1904 World’s Fair in St. Louis coincided nicely with the end of the war, so the United States put together multiple living people exhibits, among them a 47-acre exhibit housing mostly Filipinos from the Igorot tribe.

This tribe was known primarily because they occasionally ate dog, so as part of the “curiosity” of it all, Igorots in the living village exhibit were made to kill and butcher dogs constantly for the amusement of onlookers. This was all made to reinforce a stereotype that they themselves knew wasn’t true; they only ate dog very occasionally as part of certain ceremonies. While some people may think that history has forgotten these things, there are those who are still taking the time to reflect on this chapter in their history well over 100 years later.

This is wrong on so many levels that I can't even begin to say. I had no idea that this went on in our country, but I have to admit that it doesn't really surprise me!

Coffee out on the patio again this morning!

Friday, April 1, 2016

Space Pens For Freaky Friday...!

Today I want to talk about the "Space Pens", if that's OK with you.

These pens were supposed to be for taking into space, where they were expected to work as usual...without problems. In typical fashion and overspending, the answer was a lot closer than expected. Surprise!

The Myth Of NASA’s Spendy Space Pens
By Debra Kelly on Tuesday, March 29, 2016

An urban legend says that NASA spent millions developing a pen for its astronauts, while the Soviet Union just gave their men pencils. While that’s not a good idea anyway (mainly because of dust and the possibility of breakage), it’s not true. NASA did spend an outrageous amount on mechanical pens for Gemini, but by the time Apollo came around, astronauts were using a space pen that had been invented independently by the Fisher Pen Company with no NASA funding. That was eventually the  pen the space program decided on, and the Soviet Union used it, too.




Chances are pretty good that you’ve heard the story that pokes fun at government overspending and what seems like a complete lack of common sense on the part of the massive machine that is NASA. It tells the story about how NASA spent millions of dollars inventing a pen that could write in zero gravity, while the Soviets just gave their astronauts a pencil.

Hilarious, right? But there’s a real story behind the whole saga of NASA space pens, and that’s not it.

First off, let’s look at why pencils are an absolutely dumb solution to the problem of writing in the zero-gravity conditions of a space station or shuttle. Graphite pencils give off a minute amount of dust, especially if they break, and that means they’re a potential source of irritants in a sealed and very delicate artificial environment. They’re also extraordinarily flammable under those same conditions—they’re made of graphite and wood, after all.

So a pen was needed, and there were a whole series of requirements that made it impossible to use any old pen. They needed to be able to be used by astronauts wearing gloves, they had to be absolutely shatterproof, and they had to be ridiculously lightweight, as every ounce on a space mission counts.

In 1965, NASA bought a set of space-worthy mechanical pencils for Project Gemini. The pencils came from Tycam Engineering Manufacturing, Inc., and the bill for 34 pencils was a staggering $4,382.50. Neither Congress nor the American public would stand for that nonsense. Only a few days before the Gemini launch, NASA found itself bombarded with requests to justify the massive expense.

After the Gemini mission, it was leaked that astronauts had carried a whole bunch of items up into space that hadn’t been approved for the launch. There was a sandwich (of particular concern because of the potential for crumbs), a diamond ring, and some totally normal pencils.

Amid the following outcry over the apparent waste of government funding, NASA started looking elsewhere for another option when it came to pencils (even as it also cracked down on astronauts who tried taking personal items with them).

NASA stumbled across a man named Paul Fisher and his Fisher Pen Company and found that he had inadvertently invented a pen that would work perfectly for them. And NASA didn’t spend a dime in development. The pressurized pen was designed to work even when it was subjected to extreme temperatures or was underwater, and its ink cartridge would work in zero gravity.

When Fisher offered NASA the pens, they were initially refused. Then, NASA bought another even more expensive Fisher pen, while giving the Space Pen a wide berth. It was only after a whole lot of testing that NASA finally agreed to use the Space Pens for Apollo.

Four hundred pens cost a total of $2,400. Fisher’s Space Pens also landed a contract with the Soviet Union.

Seems to me that NASA came out ahead by paying full retail for the pens, instead of the "special" government price. Who would have thought that?

Coffee out on the patio again this morning.