Friday, November 20, 2009

How About Some Conversation Fillers...?


Just for something a little bit different today, I thought I would share these great bits of information with you!

Never know when you may want a rather sardonic saying to fill in a quiet moment during a conversation!

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving .

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

AND FINALLY...

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.


I hope this list can be of some use! Come to think of it, Thanksgiving is coming up, and at some point during the day you'll be talking to someone you would rather NOT be talking to! That might be just the perfect moment to throw out some of these little tid-bits, ya know?

Now, my friends, coffee is ready. Let's get a fresh cup and sit outside for a bit, OK?

28 comments:

Ozark Momma said...

oh my HJ...perfect!! I especially appreciate the truth of the arguing women and the epiphany of the sleeping pill/laxative...excellent work!

HermitJim said...

Hey Momma...
Got your attention with those two, huh? Somehow, that doesn't really surprise me...!

Sure was nice of you to drop by today, my friend!

Kyddryn said...

Mister Hermit sir, you are priceless.

Shade and Sweetwater,
K

HermitJim said...

Hey K...
Thank ya, Ma'am! I'll take that as a compliment coming from you...!

Have a good day, and thanks for coming by!

Rod said...

Thanks for the laugh I needed it!

Sue said...

I should NOT have read this at 4 in the morning while my husband is trying to sleep-I laughed out loud at theses.....and I have a "friend" I think I'm going to lend $20 to and hope they disappear......
:D

Rae said...

Yes that last one is pretty wise advice. Excellent choices and all so true.

vlad said...

Teach children to safely close
a locking folder. Grasp back
of blade. With other hand release
lock, and slowly move handle to
cover cutting edge.

Anonymous said...

Laxatives & sleeping pills, I almost spit out my breakfast grits. With your permission these words of wisdom will be sent to all my friends.

Chucky

JoJo said...

Good Morning My Special One, these are great lol. I think coffee on the patio can be great fun this morning. Watching the sun rise as I read these this morning and starting the day with a good laugh and a beautiful sunrise with a good friend is always the best.

HermitJim said...

Hey Rod...
Always a pleasure to be of service, my friend! Glad I could help give you a smile this morning!

Thanks so much for coming by!


Hey Sue...
Hope that I didn't cause DH to wake up! Now, you do know that there are no guarantees with this advice, right?

Glad you liked the post...and glad you came by this morning!


Hey Rae...
Ya know, sometimes we find wisdom in the funniest places, and it never hurts to try and remember whatever makes us smile.

I really appreciate you coming by today!


Hey Vlad...
Thanks for the visit this morning, my friend!


Hey Chucky...
Good to see you again! Yeah, this last one does create a lasting mental image for sure!

Thanks for coming by today, buddy!


Hey JoJo...
Having good friends to share the sunrise with and to share a cup of coffee with are always good things.

I think it's especially nice when specil friends drop by!

Thanks, Sweetie...I appreciate it!

Did it MY way said...

"Just leave me alone" Priceless.

Now I have to invest $100.00 to send 5 away.

To soon I get old to late I get smart.

Yoe always find the good stuff...Thanks for the laugh.

Coffee tastes good today. Have a good one.

See Ya

Felinae said...

Thanks Uncle Hermit. :)

That gave me a great start to my morning. I'm still giggling.

Have a great day!

Hugs~Felinae~

HermitJim said...

Hey Tony...
Might be a good investment...! I'm glad you enjoyed the post, my friend!

Raining here...so the coffee does hit the spot!

My friend...thanks for stopping by today!

HermitJim said...

Hey Felinae...
Always glad to help start the day off with a smile! You just never know what you may find here at the Hermit's place!

Thank you so much for coming by today, Lady!

Tatersmama said...

What a way to start the day! It's 4am on a Saturday, and I'm already laughing my patootie off!
Thanks for sharing these... I'm sure they'll come in handy the next time I have to attend a work function!

HermitJim said...

Hey TM...
What are you doing up t 4 a.m. anyway? Well, whatever the reson, I'm glad you enjoyed the sayings...and glad also to have you drop by!

Thanks...!

The cottage by the Cranelake said...

Great, great! Especially the last one will be remembered :-) :-) :-)
Have a great day now!
Christer.

HermitJim said...

Hey Christer...
Sounds like good advice, doesn't it? I know I'm not going to try it!

Hey, thanks for coming by today!

OGT said...

Those should have been in the Bible.

HermitJim said...

Hey OGT...
Quite a bit of truth in some of them, huh?

Thanks for coming by today, my friend!

Diane said...

Oh so true...loved it! Thank you!!!

HermitJim said...

Hey Diane...
Good to see you! I'm glad you liked the post...and I;m glad you came by today. Thanks!

Frugal Canadian Hermit said...

LOL. There is some major good advice and info in that one Jim. lol.

HermitJim said...

Hey Hermit...
I think that some of it could be a big help, for sure!

Het, thanks for the visit, my friend!

Ben in Texas said...

Jim, your observations made my day.. t;-) Thanks.

rangersquirrel said...

Happy Birthday Sir!

Lydia said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to you Jim!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lydia