Tuesday, December 20, 2011

A Little Tuesday Humor...!


I know that everyone is going to spend the next few days getting ready for Christmas.

With that thought in mind, I figured we could use a little humor to level out all the emotions. I do hope that this helps to take the edge off!

The Dead Parrot‏

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the care taker at your country house.

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead.

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"

"Si, Senor, that's the one."

"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"

"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."

"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."

"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"

"Yes, Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."

"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?!"

"Yes, Senor Rod."

"But there's electricity at the house! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Senor Rod."

"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL??!!"

"Your wife's, Senor Rod". She showed up very late one night and I thought she was a thief, so I shot her with your new Kreighoff Limited Edition Custom Gold Engraved Trap Special with the custom Wenig Exhibition Grade Stock.

SILENCE........... LONG SILENCE.........VERY LONG SILENCE. "Ernesto, if you scratched that shotgun, you're in deep shit."

What did we learn from this story? I'm not sure, but I guess that the main thing is...keep your priorities straight! Secondly, SAFETY FIRST!

The only reason I bring this up, folks, is that during this time of all the decorating and food handling we need to be sure and keep safety foremost in our minds! I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to anyone, OK?

Coffee on the patio this morning. Just keep a lookout for the rain!

9 comments:

Rob's Bunker said...

ROTFL Good one.

Momlady said...

Thanks for the humor this morning. Much needed.

Anonymous said...

When we go to a place to dine, we are very careful of the place.When we are at a place that is a buffet we are first when they open, if it looks dirty, we tell the guy who runs the place and pronto it is shut down for a few minutes and everything gets a once over, food taken off the place of order and thrown away..We don't get food poinsioning from dirty places at all...Ususally I cook at home or I make some big dinners to be shared over a day or two and always refridgerate the food we will have the next day promptly...we are vigilant don't want to go to an ER right by christmas no no way..

Ben in Texas said...

Always good to start the day with a chuckle. Thanks!! :-)

linda m said...

LMAO! That was a good one. Let's all keep our priorities straight and practice safety first. Merry Christmas!

Dizzy-Dick said...

Nice Gun!!

JOJO said...

Funny, and at least his rifle was saved. Yes Priorites are very important.
The sun might shine today. Yahoo!
Pass the pot please. Its still warmer in your neck of the woods.

TROUBLEnTX said...

thx!!

Gorges Smythe said...

Enjoyed the story, Jim. Just for the record, watch out being a nice guy and letting folks post irrelevant stuff. It usually gets worse as it goes.