Thursday, February 23, 2012

My Mom's Best Friend Has Passed...!

It's always hard when a member of the family or a dear friend passes.

When you get to be my Mom's age, it is probably even harder! Lilly was probably my Mom's very best friend and running buddy. They went so many places together, there's no counting them. They attended the same church, worked on quilts together, knitted hats for the preemies at the local hospital, and generally shared so many things.

Lilly had been battling cancer for a long time, mostly with a very positive attitude and strong sense of humor all the while. She was a fun lady who could talk your ear off if given half a chance...and often did!

She was a little younger than my Mom, which more than likely made Mom realize how close the end of the journey really can be for all of us. Over the last few years, several of Mom's friends have passed on. I'm sure that the shrinking of the circle of friends is something Mom thinks about more and more, but we talk about friends and family no longer here with us and remember them fondly through stories and pictures. That does keep them alive in spirit and helps to keep them close.

The next few days will most likely be a little tough on Mom, so I'm doing what I can to stay close in case she needs to talk or just have some company! Seems like the very least I can do, after all she has done for me and my sisters over the years!

I firmly believe that keeping the older generation happy and busy doing what they like is one way to keep them from getting depressed. That's just my opinion, of course.

I'll do what I can, because she is not only my Mom...but my friend! God bless her heart!

Coffee on the patio this morning. It got into the 80s yesterday and is headed that direction today as well!

21 comments:

SciFiChick said...

As long as our lives are remembered we will live. Or something like that.. an old Indian saying. I'm sorry about your loss,my friend.

HermitJim said...

Hey Sci...
I'll pass on your kind words to Mom! I'm sure she will be fine, just getting used to not having her friend around is the hard part.

Thanks so much for coming by today!

MsBelinda said...

I guess today you and I faced a similar situation. All we can do is be there for our mothers and support them during this difficult time.

Give your mom a hug and a kiss for me. You are a good son Mr.Hermit.

HermitJim said...

Hey MsBelinda...
Sure am glad to see you! Don't get a chance to visit very often, and that's a shame!

I appreciate the kind words and I'll certainly pass on the hugs to Mom!

Thanks for dropping by today!

chinasyndrome said...

Man,sorry to hear that Jim! Yep your Mom will need ya she might not even talk,but knowing you are there will be a comfort!

China
III

Anonymous said...

My condolences for your Mom and family / friends of the deceased. A big part of Life is finding and ultimately losing valued people and items. Very sad.

Anonymous said...

It is very sad to lose anyone who has been in our life for years. There is a hole and no one else can fill it in the same way. Even as time goes by, something small triggers their memory and so we hold them in our hearts forever.
I know this well as I have been my parents and my aunt's caretakers during the last years of their lives. My mother died last September after living with me for the last 8 months. My father is in a nursing home with advanced parkinson's and advanced dementia. It is sometimes heartbreaking to see him and then remember how he used to be. Sometimes one even hopes the day comes quickly when they can be in peace already as the struggle is very hard.

You are indeed a good son. Just listening to all the feelings that arise can be hard to do as it can trigger such sadness, etc. and many
people find that hard to do but it is what your mother needs now.

Sixbears said...

It's always tough to lose old friends. You miss them. I wish your mother well.

Sissy said...

You are a very honorable son with a very fortunate mother. Take good care of both of you Hermit. Ones like you cause ones like me to feel their heart soar with admiration. Bless you, Kindheart.

Ben in Texas said...

I'll say it again , You deserve the Son of The Year Award Jim.
About your mothers loss. Only thing I can suggest is to follow her lead on how she chooses to grieve. If she wants to talk about and remember her friend, then drag out the photo albums and get her to talking.
If on the other hand, like My Mother, she chooses to not discuss it when one of her old friends passed. Then let it go.

People grieve in different ways.
IF Mom is a religious person and has a favorite pastor, by all means call him to visit her.

Everyone is different and only you and she can handle this. But it will pass.

linda m said...

My sympathy and hugs to your Mom on the loss of her dear friend. Take care of your Mom and bless you for being there for her.

JOJO said...

I am so sorry to hear of the lose of your Mom's best friend. Give her a hug and kiss for me today and everyday that she needs one. Your the kind of son ever Mother hopes to have.

Selous Scout said...

Give yer mom a hug for me. In our minds we feel we will live forever, so being reminded we are just mortals with a finite lifespan can really put a damper on our spirit.

HermitJim said...

Hey China...
I'm hoping that just my presence will be a little comfort right now. So far, she is handling it pretty well!

Thanks, buddy, for coming by today!


Hey Anon 5:25...
I appreciate the kind words this morning.

Accepting the loss of friends is just part of life as you say, and the memories help us to keep them close!

Thanks so much for coming by today!


Hey Anon 5:27...
I do what I can, but truthfully I'm not really very good at this sort of thing.

Still, I'm here and I will stay as upbeat as I can for her.

In a way, Mom is glad that her friend is not suffering anymore and her faith gives her a lot of comfort...that's a good thing!

Thanks so much for dropping by this morning!


Hey Sixbears...
Many thanks for that, my friend. I'll pass it on to Mom.

Have a great day, and thanks for coming by!


Hey Sissy...
Thank you for the kind words this morning. I sure do appreciate it.

Thanks for coming over today!


Hey Ben...
That's what I'm trying to do, buddy. Just being available to talk or sit as company is sometimes the best thing.

I'm thinking that just knowing someone is there if you need to talk can help. Mom is pretty strong, though. I'm only here as back-up!

Thanks, buddy, for your concern and visit today!


Hey Linda...
I'll sure pass on the hugs and the good thoughts. Can't ever get too many hugs, in my opinion!

You have a great day...and thanks fort coming over this morning.


Hey JoJo...
Thanks, sweetie, for the positive thought and the hugs to Mom! I'll certainly pass them on!

You have a great day! Hope the weather co-operates with you!

Thanks for making time to come by!

HermitJim said...

Hey Scout...
I think that once you reach Mom's age, you can feel the end of the journey much more than when you are young.

Heck, I'm even thinking about it more myself here as of late! But then, I'm no Spring chicken myself!

Thanks so much for coming over this morning!

Bob from Athens said...

My Mom's younger sister, she was 85, Mom is 88, passed away last week. They were best friends and talked on the phone at least every day. I just about totally lost it when after the funeral some clods came up and said " well she had a good life, guess it was her time, it could have been worse, but you should have been expecting it". I can't come up with an answer to that. Not one that can be spoken in a church !

thecottagebythecranelakeolof1 said...

It is tough to loose a friend at any age but it must be tougher when more and more of them pass away. Give Your mother a hug from me.

Christer.

HermitJim said...

Hey Bob...
Probably the best answer for that is to smile and walk away! Otherwise, not much else can cure that sort of thinking!

Thanks for coming by today!


Hey Christer...
I have to agree that age plays a good part in the feeling of loss.

I'll certainly pass on your kind thoughts this morning!

Thanks for dropping in!

Dizzy-Dick said...

My condolences for the loss of your Mom' s best friend. Keeping close to Mom and remembering the friend during the good times is the right thing to do. You are a good son!

Felinae said...

Hugs for your Mom, it is never easy when a friend or a loved one passes. I'm glad she has you to be there for her.

Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs~
Felinae~

treesong said...

Just went through the same thing with my Dad. He still grieves but so did I when I lost a few friends in one year. The older you get, the faster they go and the fewer there are. Best we can do is value the time we have with one another.