It's been a while since I've done a post featuring featuring humorous quotes from famous people, so I figured this would be a great time!
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, 'At my age, I don't even buy green bananas.'
I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.
My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.
We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do.
He looked about as inconspicuous as a tarantula on a slice of angel food.
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
There! I hope you enjoyed these bits of humor. Some I even laughed at.
Coffee out on the patio this morning!