Thursday, October 27, 2011

How About Some Fun With Puns...?

I started to skip posting today, but I decided to share some puns instead.

I have no idea why, but I guess I'm just getting a little nuts after the last week! Believe me, you don't really want to know!

Let's just take things lightly today and maybe have a little grin...OK?


The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out it was only an optical Aleutian.

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center read: "Keep off the Grass."

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: to transcend dental medication.

Sorry, I know some of these are pretty lame, but sometimes when you read them again and again...lame becomes funny! Who knew?

I'm thinking I may need a vacation! Ya reckon?

How about some fresh coffee on the patio? Actually, the coffee is in a mug and we take the mug to the patio...just wanted to clarify that!


Gorges Smythe said...

I've always heard that the pun is the lowest form of humor. I wonder what that says about those of us who enjoy them?

Baby Sis said...

Bubba -

Good job - I got an early chuckle. And as for the other, we're working on it! Hopeful for results today.......

Big hugs -

Anonymous said...

Lol, those are great, thank you for sharing them. Starting the morning with a laugh is always good for the system.

Momlady said...

Hope all is well. I look forward to your posts each day. Email me if you need someone to talk to.

Wolfdancer32266 said...

I love puns. :)
Thanks for making my morning.

JoJo said...

Maybe a few days somewhere is in order.
Thanks for a giggle this morning.
Glad you cleared up the mug thing.

HermitJim said...

Hey Gorges...
They can call me anything but late for dinner! I like puns...always have.

I appreciate you coming by today, my friend!

Hey Sis...
I'm not worried! I know you'll find the best deal you can. If you need any help, just let me know.

I'm glad you liked the puns! Thanks for the visit this morning!

Hey Anon 7:23...
Good for what ails I hear! A little grin with the coffee is always a great idea!

I'm really glad you could come by today!

Hey Momlady...
I might just do that, my friend!

Just one of those crazy weeks we all have from time to time!

Thanks so much for dropping by today!

Hey Wolfdancer...
Always my pleasure, my friend! Glad you liked them!

You have a great day, and thanks for coming by!

Hey JoJo...
Boy, it does seem like that would be a very good idea, sweetie! Wish I could make it happen!

I think things will settle down here in a week or two. I certainly hope so!

My dear friend, I really appreciate you coming by today!

TROUBLEnTX said...

I love em.

Kyddryn said...

Hey, Mister Hermit, sir...glad you sharpened your puncil and let fly!

Hugs to ya - for what it's worth, I'm always game for an e-mail if you need to vent your spleen!

Shade and Sweetwater,

Carolyn said...

lmao.... love 'em... I'm going to have to steal a couple!

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.