The Terrifyingly Stupid Terrorist
Photo credit: nypost.com
Terrorists are not exactly known for their intellect at the best of times. They blow themselves up (deliberately), spend much of their time preaching nonsense that nobody understands, and very rarely get dates. Even so, Afghan Taliban commander Mohammad Ashan has to represent one of the least cerebral of these operatives.
The United States believed that Ashan was involved in plotting IED attacks against US and Afghan forces. In response, officials targeted the Paktika province, where Ashan and his insurgent followers operated, with a flurry of wanted posters. The flyers promised informants $100 for any information that led to the commander’s capture.
In 2012, the bizarre happened. A cash-strapped Ashan sauntered into a checkpoint in the Sar Howza district and handed himself over. Suffice it to say, Afghan troops were somewhat bemused when Ashan tried to claim the $100 bounty. Clutching a wanted poster with his own mug shot, the clueless rebel essentially demanded payment for his own capture.
“This guy is the Taliban equivalent of the Home Alone burglars,” stated one US official.Biometric scans confirmed the man’s identity. He did not get his reward, unsurprisingly. It seems unlikely that the commander’s superiors will promote him beyond his “low-level” grade anytime soon.
I almost feel sorry for the folks that are this far down the ladder when it comes to common sense.
Coffee out on the patio this morning, where the temps are nice and cool for a change.