Thursday, August 20, 2009

I've Found The Perfect Gift...!


This would be a very good gift for those people that like to make your life a little more difficult and unpleasant!

You know, like politicians, ex-spouses, past and present difficult in-laws, noisy next door neighbors, rude retail clerks, empty headed bosses, really irritating co-workers, the daughter's highly suspicious boyfriend, all tax collectors, most members of Congress, the majority of the lawyers in the entire world, any tech support personnel that are in any country other than the United States, the fool that invented the "child proof caps" for older folks' medication, any package delivery person that likes to drop kick packages marked "fragile", anybody that mistreats any animals for pleasure, arrogant law enforcement officials, dishonest judges, any and all practitioner of torture anywhere for any cause, terrorists from any country, and to every telemarketer that ever called my number at dinner time!

I'm sure that you get the idea, and you have my complete support in making up your own list as recipients of this special gift!



I'm sure that this gift would be utilized a lot, as most of the persons on my list are so full of crap their eyes are brown!

So, now that we have taken care of some early gift shopping...let's get some coffee and sit outside for a bit, my friend!

17 comments:

Felinae said...

LOL!I like it Uncle Hermit :D

You can bet that I can think of quite a few people deserving of this wonderful multi-use gift.

Thanks for helping me knock a few recipients off of my list, now I can relax and share a cuppa joe with you.

Have a great day, my friend.

Hugs~Felinae~

HermitJim said...

Hey Felinae...
Makes a perfect gift idea for a LOT of people, doesn't it?

Sometimes I just surpass myself! Just kidding, just kidding...!

I have to admit I thought this was pretty funny!

Hey, thanks for dropping by today!

Kyddryn said...

I've never suffered them, Mister Hermit, sir, but I'm told hemorrhoids can make even the softest TP feel like your fun find up there. Yikes!

Hmm...I wonder if one could order in bulk, send a case or two to Congress...

Shade and Sweetwater,
K

HermitJim said...

Hey K...
Unfortunately, I have experienced the unpleasant condition you mentioned, and your assessment is totally correct!

As far as buying some in bulk, that's a good idea! We'll have to put together a buying club!

Thanks for coming by this morning!

Ken said...

...lmao...well yer list was pretty thorough Jim,i'll stick with it...

...just an extra roll for the house,to put in the dispenser when i want that 'company' to leave...lol

HermitJim said...

Hey Ken...
I'll have to admit that I thought about adding that one as well! I don't get a lot of overnight company because i believe most folks think something like this would actually take place!

I'm glad you like the gift selection, and I'll see if I can dig up some other appropriate gifts for a very select few before the holidays get here!

Hey, thanks for dropping in this morning!

Sue said...

OUCH!
Kinda neat-I have a brother that's been a pain in my A%$ for years. Maybe I could give him a roll!
THanks for the smile!

Anonymous said...

Yowtch! Makes me think of that curse 'May a nest of Fire Ants find a home in your colon'.

YeOldFurt said...

Love It HJ. LMAO. Great idea!
YeOldFurt

HermitJim said...

Hey Sue...
Sounds like it was tailor made for him! You are quite welcome , my friend!

Thanks for coming by!


Hey Anon 5:22...
I haven't heard that one...but it brings tears to my eyes!

Thanks for coming by today!


Hey Jesse...
I'm glad you enjoyed the gift selection, my friend!

I'm always watching out for my readers!

I sure do appreciate the visit today, buddy!

JoJo said...

OUCH!!
Oh my that looks so evil I just love it.
Good morning My Special One, you little devil. I have a few people I can use that on.

HermitJim said...

Hey JoJo...
I'll just bet you can find a deserving person or two to give a roll to!

I know...I'm a baaaadddd boy!

Hey, thanks for coming by, sweetie!

TEAM HALL said...

Whoa!! Kitteny soft sure doesn't come to mind, eh? That's just tooooo funny!
Well Jim, may your coffee be hot and your T.P. be soft today my friend.

HermitJim said...

Hey Cath...
I reckon that soft doesn't figure into the description...

Thanks for the softness wishes...and for the visit today!

shinerbock said...

Hell Yes, Jim. Couldn't agree with you more, I think if I tried hard enough I could come up with a few people to add to your list. I'd like to buy a roll for my neighbors. Take care.

HermitJim said...

Hey Shiner...
Maybe we could get together and buy a case, ya think?

Good of ya to drop in today, buddy!

Ashley said...

We actually used some of that stuff in the Navy. I think the goal was to train us to need fewer restroom breaks.

Hugs,
Ashley