Saturday, August 28, 2010

Smile Because It's Saturday...!


I figured that being Saturday, you might just need tis to get through the weekend!

Some of them might even be fun to quote in a crowd! If nothing else, folks will look at you funny and give you a pretty wide berth!

Sardonic Wisdom

(and maybe a little sarcastic too!)



Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.

It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced,
you can't be promoted.

Always remember that you're unique.
Just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

If you think nobody cares if you're alive,
try missing a couple of car payments.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is probably not for you.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving .

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

AND

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

There ya go! Just something to make your weekend a little bit better!

Now, my friends, how about some fresh coffee on the patio? I'll shut up, I promise!

14 comments:

The cottage by the Cranelake said...

:-) :-) :-)
Thanks for the laughs :-) The funny thing is that the experiense advice was printed in my newspaper this morning :-) :-)

Have a great day now!
Christer.

Ben in Texas said...

That fist one has been around what? Since the 60s? I always like the last line to read,," Just Leave me alone" and get outta my way!!

Coffee on the patio once the sun starts up?

Mechanic in Illinois said...

I like"Only my cat understands me". Thanks for the great lesson.

JoJo said...

Good Morning My Special One
Please don't ever shut up I love your wit and constant lessons. I like these and being the smarty pants I am I will no doubt use some of these.
Its been cloudy and on the cool side here but at least it keep in long enough to finish the painting. Yes it is done.:)
Now I will take that coffee and enjoy it and then who knows. Hope you are enjoying the family, any good treats?

Argentum Vulgaris said...

Some damn good advice there.

AV

HermitJim said...

Hey Christer...
Looks like I'm keeping up with your newspaper then, doesn't it? That's pretty cool!

I must be more international than I thought!

Thanks for coming by today!


Hey Ben...
Been around for a long time, for4 sure! But then...so have I!

Thanks for coming by today, buddy!


Hey Mechanic...
That statement works for me! Only I'm not sure they do, ya know?

I appreciate the visit today!


Hey JoJo...
Glad you finished the painting before the cooler weather set in for good!

Now you can spend more time exploring!

Thanks sweetie, for coming by today!


Hey AV...
I'm thinking you're right! Even though they are funny, there is a bit of wisdom hidden there!

I thank you, my friend, for coming by today!

chinasyndrome said...

My friend you are always good for a laugh or a smile,Thank you! I wanna be the windshield today!

China
III

HermitJim said...

Hey China...
I'm glad I could put a smile on your ace today! Always makes me feel good to be able to do that!

Thanks, my friend, for dropping in!

2 Tramps said...

H.J.,
Thanks so much for the morning chuckles. I am so tired I can hardly see but I sure can still laugh. You have set the tone for my day.

HermitJim said...

Hey 2 Tramps...
You know how I love to make you smile! Besides, I figured that we all could use this , especially this morning!

Nothing like having a lot of kin folk over to fill up your day!

I do appreciate you coming by today!

Bob Mc said...

I like it. Good way to start the day.

HermitJim said...

Hey Bob...
Glad it helped to get the day started off right!

Thanks for coming by today!

edifice rex said...

My brother sent me this list a while back and I enjoy it so much that I have kept it to reread on occasion.
Lot of wisdom in there actually.

HermitJim said...

Hey ER...
I'm sure that this has made the rounds more than once, but somethings are always worth revisiting!

Good to see you today and know that I appreciate the visit!