Sunday, March 13, 2011

Want Some Shakespeare This Sunday...?

I realize that many of us don't have the time to read the classics like we might want to, so I thought I would help a little!

Now I know that some folks have a hard time reading Shakespeare, so what I'm going to do here is to give you a whole play...broken down by acts to make it easy!

I'll do Hamlet-Prince of Denmark...mainly because so many folks have heard about this guy, but may not know his story! So I'll attempt to explain about this joker, OK?

Here goes!

Act I: Hamlet's uncle, super bad dude kills dad, marries mom, becomes king. Dad's ghost hangs around to tell Hamlet the whole story. Meanwhile, Hamlet wants Ophelia to friend him but brother Laertes says Hamlet, though a swell guy ,means trouble.

Act II: Hamlet mad (angry, peeved) but acts mad (loco, nut case). Ophelia tells dad Polonius that he is acting kinda weird. Polonius tells king who tells queen that Hamlet has distemper. Hamlet ready to whack king.

Act III: Hamlet muses "to be or not to be." Ophelia shows up to return his gifts. Hamlet tells her to go join a convent. Hamlet with queen, Polonius hiding behind arras listening. Hamlet pokes sword, kills Polonius.

Act IV: King ships Hamlet to England along with secret letter asking Brits to bump him off. Hamlet escapes, returns to Denmark. Ophelia mad (loony, cuckoo), sings a lot, drowns. King hatches a plot, recruits Laertes ready to avenge dad's death. King has plan B, chalice with poison.

Act V: Clowns digging Ophelia's grave, old skulls thrown around. Laertes and Hamlet leap into grave fighting but king wants fencing match. During the match, Queen drinks poison meant for Hamlet –adieu.
Laertes, Hamlet wound each other with same poisoned rapier.
Hamlet wounds king, makes him drink poison – adios
Laertes slumps, Hamlet croaks.
The End

We can thank the fine folks over at the Oregonian for this touch of class for this Sunday! After all, gotta give credit where credit is due, right?

Let's grab some fresh coffee and sit outside. Oh, and please don't forget to say a prayer or two for our friends in Japan! God Bless 'em All!


Anonymous said...

Hermit, I agree, that was a touch of class. Thanks for posting it!

Mountain Rifleman

Anonymous said...

Hamelt with penache, no less...


HermitJim said...

Hey Rifleman...
That's about as much class as I can muster at one time!

I appreciate you coming by today!

Hey AV...
Hey, I do what I can, ya know? Not easy trying to simplify the Bard!

I do appreciate you coming by today!

Momlady said...

Now that made Shakepeare easy...and in modern language yet! Thanks, HJ.

HermitJim said...

Hey Momlady...
Does seem to make things a little easier to visualize, doesn't it?

I hope that ol' William doesn't mind too much, though. Last thing I need is to be haunted some more!

Thanks, my friend, for stopping in today!

Sixbears said...

I see I wasted 4 years getting that English degree.

HermitJim said...

Hey Sixbears...
I wouldn't say it was wasted...I mean, you might find a good use for it some day!

Way things are going, you might be able to get a job as a teacher to folks like me! I seem to have forgotten most of what I learned in school!

I appreciate you coming by today!

Dizzy-Dick said...

Hey Hermit, I liked that version. No sense wasting all that time reading all those words in the original version.