A Little Coffee Humor...!

Since we always start the day with a cup on the patio, I thought today I'd bring a little coffee humor to the table. You might find this a little too close to home to be funny, but I thought these were pretty good!

You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When:

you'd be willing to spend time in a Turkish prison.

you grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

you lick your coffee pot clean.

the only time you're standing still is in an earthquake.

you can type 60 words per minute with your feet.

you have to watch videos in fast-forward to prevent boredom.

your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.

you want to be cremated so you can spend eternity in a coffee can.

you can take a picture of yourself from 10 feet away without using the timer.

can jump start your car without cables.

you don't need a hammer to pound nails.

you buy sugar by the barrel.

you are so wired, you pic up AM radio.

you channel surf faster without a remote.

you are offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.

you short out motion detectors.

the only time you're standing still is in an earthquake.

the nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

Kramer of Seinfeld thinks you need to calm down.

you name your cats Cream & Sugar.

your lips are permanently stuck in the sipping position.

your nervous twitches register on the Richter scale.

you think being called a "drip" is a compliment.

you're employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.

you don't sweat, you percolate.

you walk ten miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.

your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.

when someone says how are you? you say "good to the last drop."

you have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

you don't tan, you roast.

you don't get mad, you get steamed.

you think C.P.R. stands for "Coffee Provides Resuscitation."

you go to an AA meeting just to get the free coffee.

you are able to outlast the energizer bunny.

you get drunk just so you can sober up.

your survival kit has a pound of coffee & a grinder.

you speak perfect Arabic without ever taking a lesson.

you sleep with your eyes open.

your hand is molded to the shape of your coffee mug.

you answer your door before anyone knocks.

your birthday is a national holiday in Columbia.

you have your blood tested, the results come back in acidity levels.


Now, my friend, should we take a chance and have some coffee on the patio? Yeah, I think we should...!