You Can't Cure Stupid...!

Although this is just a made up case, it could just as easily be true!

For all of us that have been around the public much over the years, have probably met a few folks with the same I.Q. level as this guy! Opens up a whole new way to entertain ourselves, doesn't it?

You might know that I got this from my Baby Sis, who has a slightly twisted sense of humor...sorta like mine! I wonder if this is a family thing?

Vet Caps and Morons

A few days ago my best friend from high school sent me a ' Viet Nam Veteran' cap. I never had one of these before, and I was pretty hyped about it, especially because my friend was considerate enough to take the time to give it to me.

Yesterday, I wore it when I went to Walmart. There was nothing in particular that I needed at the world's largest retailer; but, since I retired, trips to Wally World to look at the Walmartians is always good for some comic relief. Besides, I always feel pretty normal after seeing some of the people that frequent the establishment. But, I digress...enough of my psychological fixations.

While standing in line to check out, the guy in front of me, probably in his early thirties, asked, "Are you a Viet Nam Vet?"

"No," I replied.

"Then why are you wearing that cap?"

"Because I couldn't find the one from the War of 1812." I thought it was a snappy retort.

"The War of 1812, huh?" the Walmartian queried, "When was that?"

God forgive me, but I couldn't pass up such an opportunity. "1936," I answered as straight-faced as possible.

He pondered my response for a moment and responded, "Why do they call it the War of 1812 if it was in 1936?"

"It was a Black Op. No one is supposed to know about it." This was beginning to be way fun!

"Dude! Really?" he exclaimed. "How did you get to do something that COOOOL?"

I glanced furtively around me for effect, leaned toward the guy and in a low voice said, "I'm not sure. I was the only Caucasian on the mission."

"Dude," he was really getting excited about what he was hearing, "that is seriously awesome! But, didn't you kind of stand out?"

"Not really. The other guys were wearing white camouflage."

The moron nodded knowingly.

"Listen man," I said in a very serious tone, "You can't tell anyone about this. It's still 'top secret' and I shouldn't have said anything."

"Oh yeah?" he gave me the 'don't threaten me look.' "Like, what's gonna happen if I do?"

With a really hard look I said, "You have a family don't you? We wouldn't want anything to happen to them, would we?"

The guy gulped, left his basket where it was and fled through the door.

By this time the lady behind me was about to have a heart attack she was laughing so hard. I just grinned at her.

After checking out and going to the parking lot I saw Dimwit leaning in a car window talking to a young woman. Upon catching sight of me he started pointing excitedly in my direction.

Giving him another 'deadly' serious look, I made the 'I see you' gesture. He turned kind of pale, jumped in the car and sped out of the parking lot.

What a great time! Tomorrow I'm going back with a Homeland Security cap.

Whoever said retirement is boring just needs the right kind of cap!

Sometimes I wonder if all us old retired farts enjoy coming up with ways to mess with the heads of those that are so gullible! We probably do! At our age, we take our fun where we can find it, ya know?

We'll have our coffee on the patio this morning, if that's alright with you!

Just Another Monday Mystery...!

I know that this is one I've never heard of before, so I figured you all might enjoy finding out about it as well!

I have to admit that today's little mystery is bizarre, to say the least! But then again, that's what makes it perfect for our Monday mystery, isn't it?

Overtoun Bridge

The Overtoun Bridge is an arch bridge located near Milton, Dumbarton, Scotland, which was built in 1859. It has become famous for the number of unexplained instances in which dogs have, apparently, committed suicide by leaping off it. The incidents were first recorded around the 1950′s or 1960′s, when it was noticed that dogs – usually the long-nosed variety, like Collies – would suddenly and unexpectedly leap off the bridge and fall fifty feet, to their deaths. In some cases, however, the dogs would survive, recuperate, and then leap off the bridge again. What makes this tragic mystery even more mysterious is that many of the dogs that jump from Overton Bridge jump from the same side and from almost the same spot: between the final two parapets on the right-hand side of the bridge.

Some believe that the bridge is haunted. In 1994, a man threw his baby son off the bridge, claiming that it was the anti-Christ. Later, the man attempted suicide there as well. Was Overtoun Bridge responsible for this tragic event? Some believe that Overtoun Bridge is a “thin place”, where the barrier between the world of the living and the world of the dead meet, and sometimes cross over.

I don't know about you, but I think I'll stay away from this bridge. I certainly am not letting my cat anywhere near it, that's for sure!

Thanks again to Listverse for the information!

Coffee out on the patio again this morning, but today I have some good ol' sweet potato pie! How's that?

And Now For Something Different...!

Today I'm changing things up a bit.

It seems that a few folks don't like the way I do a blog. Know what? I DON'T CARE!!

What makes some people think that everything has to be done by their rules! If push comes to shove, anyone that doesn't like a little humor in the morning can find another place to visit, right?

How about starting off with Abbott and Costello? We haven't seen them for a while!



These guys were very special in the way that they made folks grin a bit!



See? I enjoyed that! In the end, it's all about liking what you do. I like to laugh and grin and smile! I also enjoy helping others to do the same! If that upsets some people, I'm sorry for them! I like to share and if I can share a smile or a grin, I'm good to go!

Coffee on the patio this morning. I have some fresh purple plums I'll put out, so help yourself!

Strange Animal Facts...!

This is a bit off the norm, but it is very fascinating!

Wild and wooly way to start the Saturday! I love these weird things!

1. The tuatara is a lizard-like creature endemic to New Zealand, and it is thought to have existed for at least 200 million years (if you believe in evolution, or 6,000 years if you believe in special creation). The most fascinating aspect of tuataras is their third eye – complete with lens, cornea, rods and nerve tissue connecting it to their brain. This suggests that the eye was a fully functioning eye in times gone by. By six months of age the eye is covered by scales. Tuataras are the only remaining species of the sphenodontia genus.

2. Another fascinating fact about ants is that some species send their queen into neighboring nests, where she will bite the head off the resident queen and begin laying her own eggs to take over.

3. On average, sharks kill 10 humans every year. But here is the thing: approximately 100 people die each year when they are stepped on by cows. Remember that next time you are in a field of cattle.

4. Woodpeckers slam their heads into wood at a rate of 20 pecks per second. What protects them from injury is a spongy area that sits behind their beaks and acts as a shock absorber.

5. In the seventeenth century, when anti-Catholicism and anti-papacy was rife throughout the puritan world, puritans would stuff wicker effigies of the Pope with live cats and then set it on fire – taking much glee in the screaming anguish of the poor cats.

6. Unlike most animals, the word for butterfly in European languages do not resemble each other. In German it is schmetterling, in French it is papillon, in Spanish it is mariposa, in Italian it is farfalla, in Dutch it is vlinder, and in portuguese it is borboleta.

7. To vomit, some frogs spew out their entire stomach, rinse it off with their right hand, and then push it back in.

8. The hoatzin (pronounced watseen) bird is a vegetarian which, due to its strict vegetable diet, has stomachs similar to a cows to help it digest. The need for large amounts of food makes these birds very heavy, and consequently bad fliers.

9. Manatees have two teets beneath their forelimbs, which is very likely to be the cause of the many tales of mermaids heard around the world in the days of great sea voyages.

10. Here is one for all the animal rights activists. The giant tortoise was often killed for its delicious oil, which was considered by the Dutch the only way to make the flesh of the now extinct Dodo bird palatable. The flesh of the giant turtle is sufficient to feed several men and virtually every part of it is a taste sensation (including the bone marrow and eggs).

Over at Listverse where I found this article, they had pictures but I decided against including them here. I haven't had my coffee yet and I wasn't quite ready to face this yet!

Speaking of coffee, let's have ours out on the patio this morning. Hopefully it won't rain!

Unusual Place For This Friday...!

Since Friday is the day I try and choose a good spot for us to check out, I picked a good one today.

The world is so full of wonderful and beautiful places that most of us will never get to visit. Thank goodness for web sites like Listverse that make it possible for us to at least take a virtual trip to them!

Sanqingshan

China

Sanqingshan has been considered a sacred place. Used by Taoists for meditation, and believed to lead to immortality it’s easy to see why. Sanqingshan is shrouded in mists for 200 days of the year. The mist gives an otherworldly quality to the mountain, along with thousands of streams that pour into pools, granite formations that resemble silhouettes of humans and animals, and strangely shaped pine trees. The pools and vegetation create unique environments that lure many exotic and rare birds and animals to make their home there. Sanqingshan is home to about 2,500 plant species. This is one of the only places to find the plants that are used in making traditional Chinese medicines.

It really is breathtaking, isn't it? I can only imagine the sounds coming through the mists early in the morning!

Coffee on the patio this morning! How about some fresh sliced apples and cheese wedges on the side?

Useful Health Warning...!

I don't share things like this very often, but this one is worth it!

It's so good to finally get a health warning that is useful!!!

IT INVOLVES THE SHAMPOO WHEN IT RUNS DOWN YOUR BODY WHEN YOU SHOWER WITH IT!!!!

WARNING TO US ALL!!!

Shampoo Warning!

I don't know WHY I didn't figure this out sooner!

I use shampoo in the shower!

When I wash my hair, the shampoo runs down my whole body, and printed very clearly on the shampoo label is this warning,

"FOR EXTRA BODY AND VOLUME."

No wonder I have been gaining weight!

Well! I have gotten rid of that shampoo and I am going to start showering with Dawn dish soap instead. Its label reads,

"DISSOLVES FAT THAT IS OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO REMOVE."

Problem solved!

If I don't answer the phone I'll be in the shower!

We'll take a chance and have our coffee on the patio this morning! I have some fresh nectarines I'll share!

Western Wednesday, Sort Of...!

Although this story is not typical of the western stories we normally do, I figured it was pretty close!

It has plenty of the things we often find in western themes, like beautiful scenery, colorful hard drinking men, and folks that were very creative about they made a living!

Jul 25, 1897:

Jack London sails for the Klondike

Jack London leaves for the Klondike to join the gold rush, where he will write his first successful stories.

London was born in San Francisco in 1876. His father, an astrologer named Chaney, abandoned the family, and his mother, a spiritualist and music teacher, remarried. Jack assumed his stepfather's last name, London.

From an early age, London struggled to make a living, working in a cannery and as a sailor, oyster pirate, and fish patroller. During the national economic crisis of 1893, he joined a march of unemployed workers. He was jailed for vagrancy for a month, during which time he decided to go to college. The 17-year-old London completed a high school equivalency course and enrolled at the University of California at Berkeley, where he read voraciously for a year. However, he dropped out to join the 1897 gold rush.

While in the Klondike, London began submitting stories to magazines. In 1900, his first collection of stories, The Son of the Wolf, was published. Three years later, his story The Call of the Wild made him famous around the country. London continued to write stories of adventure amid the harsh natural elements. During his 17-year career, he wrote 50 fiction and nonfiction books. He settled in northern California about 1911, having already written most of his best work. London, a heavy drinker, died in 1916.

Ya know, thanks to sites like History.com, we can all learn some interesting things about folks from our past. Sometimes what we thought we knew turns out to be so much more! Don't you agree?

Coffee in the kitchen this morning. These daily storms are coming in very quickly and dumping a lot of rain!