Thursday, September 30, 2010

This Is Just Horrible...!

I normally don't put too many of the Horror pictures on here, but this is an exception!

My baby sis sent me this, and I thought I would share it with you. We have to remember that even on the best of days, some bad things cab happen when you lest expect it!

Brace yourself before looking at the attached image.A pilot at low level has no control over his aircraft. It narrowly misses a crowd gathered for the airshow and slams into four buildings.

One can only imagine the horror of the occupants inside those buildings!

How about some coffee on the patio? Not supposed to rain yet!

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Careful How You Dress...!

Sometimes as we get older, it's hard to change our way of thinking.

What we once considered an acceptable way of dressing is suddenly frowned on by others! I don't know why, but some folks seem to think that just because we have some age on us...we can't manage the choosing of appropriate attire for the day!

I don't believe this for a minute, but just to serve as a reminder to some of my older friends and cohorts I decided to post a small list here of some things that should probably NOT be worn together! Some folks would find fault with it, and if you're like me you don't want to make folks uncomfortable!

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. Spiked hair and bald spots

3. A pierced tongue and dentures

4. Miniskirts and support hose

5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads

6. Speedo's and cellulite

7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar

8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor

9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge

10. Bikinis and liver spots

11. Short shorts and varicose veins

12. Inline skates and a walker

11. Thongs and Depends

Although some of these can be fun just because of the shock factor, you might want to save them for important the in-laws visits! That's when they can really be fun, ya know?

Now, let's get some coffee and sit outside while it's still cool out!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

You Just Never Know...!

Sometimes just sitting in the yard can get you in trouble!

Hopefully, nothing like this will ever happen to us while we are sitting on the patio. Not a good way to start the day with your coffee!

I found this story in the Houston Chronicle and because of the subject matter, I thought I would share it!

Stray shot hits man on the nose
Associated Press
Sept. 27, 2010, 8:46AM

SEQUIM, Wash. — A man was sitting in his back yard near Sequim when he felt a pain in his nose and it started bleeding.

The Clallam County sheriff's office says the man apparently was hit by a stray shot Saturday from people shooting at clay pigeons with a .22-caliber weapon a half-mile away.

Sgt. John Keegan told the Peninsula Daily News the bullet came down at a steep angle and hit the top of the man's nose. Medics took him to Olympic Medical Center on Port Angeles where he was treated and released.

Investigators talked to a witness who had seen a woman and two men shooting clay pigeons in a field about a half-mile from the victims home, which was hidden by trees.

Guess we are going to have to start wearing a safety helmet while we have our morning coffee! Why don't we get a fresh cup and sit outside for a bit? I'm willing to take a chance if you are!

Monday, September 27, 2010

All About Your "People Paper"...!

You know, so many of the every day items we take for granted have a really interesting history!

For instance, take the every day item known and loved by all of us! Toilet paper...! Yep, that's right! The plain ol' roll of "people paper " has a very interesting past and the story of this modern day "necessity" is well worth the read.

Believe me, after you know this'll never think of the "people paper" quite the same way!

The Strange History of Toilet Paper!

Before toilet paper was invented, French royalty wiped their bottoms with fine linen.

Did you ever wonder what people did when Nature called, and the Sears catalogue hadn't been printed yet? Well, they were inventive. And of course, it depended on your status in life, how comfortable your "inventions" were.

The Chinese were attributed with the first man-made paper circa 50 B.C. (as opposed to your basic parchment and papyrus.) In the beginning it was formed from bamboo products. Then someone decided to soak linen rags, beat them to a pulp, and turn the results into more sheets of paper. From that stellar start, would come the first recordings of paper made for bathroom duty, in 1391. But it was only made for the emperor. In sheets that measured 2' x 3'. The Bureau of Imperial Supplies is reported as having turned out 720,000 sheets annually.

Romans were a bit more "prissy". They used wool and rosewater, or sponges full of seawater, tied to the end of a stick. But for the common people, even in the "civilized" world, it was "use what Nature provides, when she calls". That meant leaves, balls of hay, moss, or bark. In the Middle Ages, some "privys" had a scraper stick left in a container, for your personal cleanliness. Vikings were known to use lambs wool, while Eskimos used moss or a handful of snow. Cold, but "shell" we say, not as rough as Hawaiians who used the coconut's hard hide. Royalty of course, fared much better, with lace and silk being popular in France.

America was no further advanced than the old countries. They used corn husks, and leaves, then when they came along, newspapers, the Sears catalogue and the Farmers Almanac, all of which provided good "thinking time", while you were outside in the little house.

The first American toilet tissue was produced in 1857 by Joseph Gayette, who marketed packets of 500 sheets for fifty cents. It contained aloe, and was touted as a "therapeutic" paper for... sore spots. His name was stamped on each and every sheet.

Toilet paper on a roll appeared in 1890, when it was still an unmentionable Victorian topic. Even the famous Scott company that made it, didn't want their name associated with the "end" product. So it was custom-wrapped for individual retailers under other labels and names.

Sort of takes the humble roll of toilet tissue to a new level of respect, doesn't it? Who would have thought that so many different cultures, from so many different countries,and from so many different levels of social standing would have at least one thing in common?

Guess it just goes to show that when we put our minds to it, we can come up with some very useful inventions. Even more useful than all of the destructive objects that so many of us seem to value so highly!

I'm sorry, but in an emergency situation if I had to choose between a new gun and a stash of toilet paper...I'm going for the toilet paper each and every time!

I figure I can make a weapon much easier than I can make up some "people paper", ya know?

Now, how about some fresh coffee, my friends? It may be safe to sit outside this morning!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

One More Reason To Garden...!

Many things can be done with the goodies that come out of our garden.

I'm not sure that many of us would have ever thought of this particular use, but it seems to have worked out just fine for this lady!

I think next time I'm putting in some zucchini in my garden!

Montana woman fends off bear attack with zucchini

By MATT VOLZ, Associated Press Writer Matt Volz, Associated Press Writer – Thu Sep 23, 9:20 pm ET

HELENA, Mont. – A Montana woman fended off a bear trying to muscle its way into her home Thursday by pelting the animal with a large piece of zucchini from her garden.

The woman suffered minor scratches and one of her dogs was wounded after tussling with the 200-pound bear.

The attack happened just after midnight when the woman let her three dogs into the backyard for their nighttime ritual before she headed to bed, Missoula County Sheriff's Lt. Rich Maricelli said. Authorities believe the black bear was just 25 yards away, eating apples from a tree.

Two of the dogs sensed the bear, began barking and ran away, Maricelli said. The third dog, a 12-year-old collie that wasn't very mobile, remained close to the woman as she stood in the doorway of the home near Frenchtown in western Montana.

Before she knew what was happening, the bear was on top of the dog and batting the collie back and forth, Maricelli said.

"She kicked the bear with her left leg as hard as she could, and she said she felt like she caught it pretty solidly under the chin," Maricelli said.

But as she kicked, the bruin swiped at her leg with its paw and ripped her jeans.

The bear then turned its full attention to the woman in the doorway. She retreated into the house and tried to close the door, but the bear stuck its head and part of a shoulder through the doorway.

The woman held onto the door with her right hand. With her left, she reached behind and grabbed a 14-inch zucchini that she had picked from her garden earlier and was sitting on the kitchen counter, Maricelli said.

She threw the vegetable. It bopped the bruin on the top of its head and the animal fled, Maricelli said.

The woman called for help from a relative staying with her. They found the collie outside, unable to move, and took it to a veterinarian.

The dog appeared to be fine on Thursday, but the vet was keeping it for observation, Maricelli said.

The woman did not need medical attention for the scratches on her leg, though she got a tetanus shot as a precaution, Maricelli said.

Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks officials set up a trap in an attempt to capture the bear, the agency said in a statement.

Besides the nearby fruit trees, there wasn't anything on the woman's property that would attract a bear into the backyard, like garbage or livestock feed, wildlife officials said.

Maricelli interviewed the woman, but said the sheriff's office was complying with her wish not to identify her.

"She was very, very shaken, and it kind of took the humor portion out of it for me," Maricelli said. "She said it had this horrific growl and was snarling.

"(But) she can see the humor in it, and she wanted the story put out so the local residents can take precautionary measures," he added.

Now this woman has a LOT of good ol' pioneer spirit! Quite obviously she thinks fast on her feet! Gotta love anyone that can think this fast and do what it takes!

Now, my friends, let's get some fresh coffee and sit outside for a bit! No bears in sight!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

I Couldn't Help Myself...!

I was going to have some Saturday cartoons on today like we used to do, but this video caught my attention.

For some reason, this video just made me want to tap my foot! Maybe it was because of the rhythm or maybe the music (NOT) but whatever the reason I found this captured my attention!

If nothing else, it sort of got my juices flowing a bit! At my age, that's a good thing, ya know?

Better than vitamins, in a strange sort of way!

I have absoutely no idea why I like this video so much...but I do! Could be just because it is a little bit different. OK, so it's a LOT different! Besides, now days it doesn't take much to keep me entertained, ya know?

Now, my friends, let's get some coffee and sit outside for a bit! OK?

Friday, September 24, 2010

What Would Be Your Choice...?

I've been thinking about building a place in the country!

The one thing I can't decide is what kind of house to go with. There are some very nice looking houses and cabins out there...all different kinds!

I really like the tree house, but I can see a lot of advantages to the last one as well! See what you think!

You know, the more I think about it the more I realize that this tree house might be just a little too big for just me!

Maybe I should look more toward a good ol' fashion log cabin! Only trouble is, I'll have to be sure that I don't go overboard and get another cabin that's way too big for just one person!

A good example of what I mean by too big is something like this...

I'm thinking that something a bit smaller might be in order. This next one has a lot of grass and good places to grow a garden. It also could be well protected from storms and tornadoes and even a bomb attack or two!

If I painted the doors green instead of white, this type of shelter would be almost invisible! Only thing is, I would need to get me a good old fashioned John Deere to help take care of the lawn! You know, something like this!

I do admit to being a little partial to the one below! Very pleasing to the eye, and I'd bet it would stay cool in the Summer and warm in the Winter! Even has plenty of room for a hot tube...that is, if you could find out just exactly where the back yard is!

There are so many choices out there, it's hard to make up my mind! I guess what I need to do is just make sure that I find something that isn't too big or too small!

After all, I'll be the one having to clean it up, right?

One thing you can be sure of! No matter where it is, I'll build a space to share a cup of coffee with my friends! Let's get a cup and sit outside for a bit!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Even Rednecks Have Rules...!

Many of us in the deep south are called "rednecks"!

Not necessarily a bad thing, but I don't think folks realize just how serious we are about being the best Rednecks we can be! After all, if you are going to be anything...then you should always strive to be the best, right?

In keeping with that aim, I have a training course here for all aspiring "rednecks"! Pay attention...'cause there will be a test later!

Redneck Rules of Etiquette

Personal Hygiene

* While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
* Proper use of toiletries can forestall bathing for several days. However, if you live alone, deodorant is a waste of good money.
* Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.

Dining Out

* When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup, and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the wine.
* If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your fingers covering the label.

Entertaining in your Home

* A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
* Do not allow the dog to eat at the table... no matter how good his manners are.

Dating (Outside the Family)

* Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
* Be aggressive. Let her know you are interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the men's bathroom wall two years ago. "
* Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 pm; Others might say Monday. If it is the latter, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

Theater Etiquette

* Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
* Refrain from talking to characters on the screen.Tests have proven they can't hear you.


* Livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift.
* Kissing the bride more than five seconds may get you shot.
* For the groom, at least rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cumberbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

Driving Etiquette

* Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
* When approaching a four way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
* Never tow another car using pantyhose and duct tape.
* When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring beer back.
* Never relieve yourself from a moving vehicle, especially when driving.
* Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

Tips for all Occasions

* Never take a beer to a job interview.
* Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
* It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
* If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
* Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-haul to the funeral home.

Now, if you think these rules are something you can live with, then welcome to our ranks! Just remember one one can poke fun at the Rednecks of the world better that the Rednecks themselves!

That's actually one of our better qualities, I think!

Now, my friends, let's get some coffee and sit in my kitchen for a bit!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

We Have Lost A Dear Friend...!

Tony has passed on! He was a friend and a very special person to many of us!

I ask that you all go to this link and read the notice from his family!

My Road to Freedom: DID IT MY WAY has passed on 7-29-2010

God Bless, my friend! You will be missed!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Some Toy History For Your Tuesday...!

I love these things! I always have!

I never knew their history, but now that I do...I love them even more!

I've never seen a kid that didn't really enjoy playing with a Slinky if you gave them one. Heck, even grown-ups will take one that a child has left laying around and start playing with it!

The Slinky is one of those toys that folks can invent their own games with, and that is always good for the imagination! Simple toy that can inspire and encourage...we need more of that type of toy, in my opinion!

How the Slinky got stuck between a cult and a mid-life crisis

In 1943, naval engineer Richard James invented the Slinky. When a spring fell off of his workbench and began to “walk” across the floor, he figured he could make a toy out of it. His wife Betty agreed, and she came up with the name Slinky. Introduced in 1945, Slinky sales soared (say that three times fast), but that wasn’t enough to satisfy Richard James.

By 1960, despite his success, Richard James was suffering from a serious mid-life crisis. But instead of falling for fast cars, dyed hair and liposuction, Richard James went a different route, and became involved with a Bolivian religious cult. He gave generously to the religious order and left his wife, six children and the company to move to Bolivia.

Stuck with the debts left by her husband and a company that desperately needed her leadership, Betty James took over as the head of James Industries. A marketing savant, Betty James was responsible for additions to the Slinky line including Slinky Jr., Plastic Slinky, Slinky Dog, Slinky Pets, Crazy Slinky Eyes and Neon Slinky. It was great for boys and girls around the world that Betty James didn’t suffer a midlife crisis. In 2001, she was inducted into the Toy Industry Hall of Fame, and perhaps even more laudably, her Slinky dog was forever immortalized in Disney’s Toy Story movies.

Now don't you just love a toy with an interesting history? Sure seems to make them more fun! To this day, I can entertain myself for hours playing with one!

I've given these as gifts at Christmas and have yet to see them go unused. The grands and grand nieces seem to be just as happy with one today as anything I have seen them playing with!

Don't tell anyone, but I keep one put back at my place for reunions and get-togethers...when the kids start to show signs of becoming bored! It never fails to entertain!

Now, my friends, let's get some fresh coffee and sit in the kitchen. Wanna play with my spare Slinky?

Monday, September 20, 2010

And So...It Begins !

This is how small tribal squabbles become global wars...!

What starts off as a local struggle is slowly magnified and escalated by the media and politicians and "do-gooders" to the point that states become involved. Then come the countries, the foreign governments, and the power brokers!

Like an untreated cancer, something like this can grow and spread and fester until the whole thing is beyond the control of anyone and the original reason for the conflict is soon over shadowed by outside influences.

Like it or not, water and food are going to be the number one causes for future least, in my opinion! Any control of these resources give an amazing amount of power to those on the managing end! As we have seen time and time again, power and control draws government interest in much the same way that fresh manure draws flies!

Water conflict in Pakistan's tribal region leaves dozens dead

By the CNN Wire Staff
September 19, 2010 10:01 a.m. EDT

Islamabad, Pakistan (CNN) -- A water dispute in Pakistan's tribal region has led to over two weeks of fighting and dozens of deaths, government officials said Sunday.

The conflict is centered in Kurram Agency, one of the seven districts of Pakistan's restive tribal region which borders Afghanistan.

Sixteen days ago, the Mangal tribe stopped water irrigation on lands used by the Tori tribe, according to Mumtaz Zareen, a senior government official in Kurram Agency.

Zareen told CNN that 116 people have been killed, including 13 on Sunday alone.

Another 165 people have been wounded over the course of the dispute.

Could this be the seed of a much larger set of conflicts to come? When you add in the food shortages in places like Haiti due to natural disasters, and the opportunity for global conflict seems to certainly possible! We can only hope not!

Now, my friends, let's get some fresh coffee and sit in the kitchen for a bit! Plenty made, so no fighting over it...OK?

Sunday, September 19, 2010

This Is The Last Straw...!

Looks like Granny's sweeping up!

Maybe the old ways of doing things, like when Granny would chase the kids out of the house with a broom, wash out their mouth with soap, paddle them with a switch, and such as that should be revisited!

Of course, this Granny has more balls than a lot of the so-called "bad guys" where she lived. I don't know about you, but I want this lady on my team with the storm comes!

Pa. woman chases away armed robbers with broom

– Fri Sep 17, 3:27 pm ET

CHESTER, Pa. – Police said two armed men broke into a home, tied up one man and robbed another, then were chased away by the woman of the house who was armed only with a broom. Police Capt. Stephen Fox said the men broke a window to get inside the home of a family that runs a city convenience store.

He said a 49-year-old male resident went downstairs to investigate and was tied up, then his 80-year-old father came downstairs and was robbed of $50 at gunpoint.

Fox said the robbers started to go upstairs and were confronted by the 43-year-old woman of the house, who chased them out with a broom.

The robbers remain at large. The 49-year-old man broke an ankle trying to escape.

I can't help but wonder if this Lady can do the same with some of the politicians in office! If so, maybe she should rub for mayor or chief of police!

I think that some fresh coffee in the kitchen is called for, don't you?

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Wanna Know What Love Is...?

What is love anyway?

So many answers to that question are around, so I thought I would add my version as well. Probably a little different than what others imagine, but then we all have our own ideas of love, don't we?

Here are just a couple of examples of what I think of when I think of LOVE!

Kinda makes ya smile just a tad, doesn't it? I know it does me...!

You have a great Saturday, my friends! Now, let's get some fresh coffee and sit outside for a bit!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Armed And Really Dangerous...!

You have to ask yourself just why this guy is allowed to carry a gun!

I also question why he is allowed to drive a car! I know that I don't want this guy anywhere near my neighborhood, especially if he is wearing a gun! This whole story is disturbing to me on so many levels!

You know, here in Texas and many other states that have a large hunting population, even the youngest of hunters are taught where the kill shots are, and that is usually not from an up close and personal, but from some distance away.

I cannot believe that this guy can't tell the difference of "behind the shoulder" and in the stomach! Why didn't he just shoot the deer in the head?

Fla. deputy had to shoot injured deer 17 times

GAINESVILLE, Fla. -- A sheriff's deputy in Gainesville had to fire 17 shots to put down a deer hit by a car. The Alachua sheriff's department said the deputy was "horrified" by what happened Wednesday, and would be referred to a victim advocate.

The deputy didn't know where to shoot the animal, so he called a superior. The sergeant said to aim for the heart, behind the deer's shoulder. Instead, the deputy fired repeatedly into the stomach until the animal died.

The sheriff's department said the deputy did nothing wrong and won't be reprimanded. They now plan to train patrol staff to quickly kill a distressed animal that can't be saved, The Gainesville Sun reported.

Now the department is going to pay to send this poor slob to counseling? Because he is stupid and has his feelings hurt? Because he tortured a poor animal , already in distress, to death by shooting it in the stomach 17 times?

What this fool needs is to have his gun permit revoked, his badge removed, and a little time behind bars for animal cruelty! The Sheriff's department needs to accept responsibility for having such an inept, and badly trained character on their staff!

I wouldn't want this person any where near me, especially if I had a medical emergency! Suppose he called for assistance, and they told him to administer mouth to you think he could find the right end?

Now, my friends, let's get some fresh coffee and sit outside for a bit. Think I might have to add a shot of "snake bite medicine" to mine after reading about all these "Armed and Dangerous" folks out there!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Fined For Growing Too Much Food...?

We all figured this day was coming!

We've talked about it, warned about it, even expected it for a long time! Finally it's happened. A man is actually fined for growing food on his own land! Too much food!

How the hell can a person possibly grow too much food on his own property? Easy! If the government doesn't get it's cut in the form of taxes and permits! They then try to make up for the shortages by fining the grower!

Check out this story from Georgia!

County Sues Farmer, Cites Too Many Crops

Posted: 5:20 pm EDT September 12, 2010
Updated: 10:00 am EDT September 13, 2010

DEKALB COUNTY, Ga. -- DeKalb County is suing a local farmer for growing too many vegetables, but he said he will fight the charges in the ongoing battle neighbors call “Cabbagegate.”

Fig trees, broccoli and cabbages are among the many greens that line the soil on Steve Miller’s more than two acres in Clarkston, who said he has spent fifteen years growing crops to give away and sell at local farmers markets.

“It's a way of life, like it's something in my blood,” said Miller.

In January, Dekalb County code enforcement officers began ticketing him for growing too many crops for the zoning and having unpermitted employees on site.

Miller stopped growing vegetables this summer and the charges were put on hold as he got the property rezoned.

Two weeks after approval, however, his attorney said the county began prosecuting the old charges, saying he was technically in violation before the rezoning.

“It should go away. I think it borders on harassment,” said Miller’s attorney Doug Dillard.

Miller faces nearly $5,000 in fines, but he said he plans to fight those citations in recorders court later this month.

A county spokesperson said officials can’t discuss the matter while it is in court, but neighbors were quick to come to his defense.

“When he moved here and I found out what he was doing I said, ‘Steve, you’re the best thing that ever happened to Cimarron Drive. And I still say that,” said neighbor Britt Fayssoux.

This is just one more sign that government, local and federal, is starting to get totally out of control! No wonder that folks are getting really, really pissed!

It's one thing to try and force permits and controls on small homesteads, and arrest and jail even the Amish for NOT wanting to have chips implanted in their cattle, and charging for permits to grow your own vegetables in the city...but this story is a solid bit of proof that the PTB are trying to get what we all knew all along what they wanted...control over the food supply!

Control the food, control the people!
This has been the way of thinking for Big Brother for a long time, but now people are catching on more and more!

Buckle up, my friends! There's a rough road ahead! Luckily, some of us are ready to play just as dirty as the law allows...or as is called for! Right? Right!

Now, let's get some fresh coffee before they try and make us get a "coffee house permit" for the patio!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Pay Attention To The "Ember Days"...!

I know many folks don't hold much with telling weather using Folk Lore, but I figure it never hurts to cover all the bases.

Besides, the local weather guys don't do all that well...if you know what I mean! All of the modern equipment, all the images from space, all the computer models and they still only get it right about 50% of the time!

I'm using the Old Farmer's Almanac because their record, using folk lore and old time methods, is nearly just as good! Besides, it's a lot more fun using the Almanac! Things being what they are now days, I'll take my fun whenever and where ever I can!

It would be nice to live in a place where we had some fall, but here on the coast we usually go from Summer one day... straight into Winter the next. The joys of Texas weather!

Ember Days

The Almanac traditionally marks the four periods formerly observed by the Roman Catholic and Anglican churches for prayer, fasting, and the ordination of clergy.

These Ember Days are the Wednesdays, Fridays, and Saturdays that follow in succession after (1) the First Sunday in Lent; (2) Whitsunday–Pentecost; (3) the Feast of the Holy Cross, September 14; and (4) the Feast of St. Lucia, December 13. The word ember is perhaps a corruption of the Latin quatuor tempora, "four times."

Folklore has it that the weather on each of the three days foretells the weather for three successive months; that is, for September’s Ember Days, Wednesday forecasts weather for October, Friday for November, and Saturday for December.

Now you know what the Ember Days are! Wasn't that a lot more fun than watching some boring ol' weather guy on television? Ya know, if you go on over to their website, you can get a hard copy of the almanac to hold and read while the Winter winds are blowing...or when you just need some reading material for the "Library"! You know where I mean, right?

Now, my friends, let's get some fresh coffee and sit outside for a bit!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

How About Some 'Paraprosdokian' Examples...?

Here is a fun list for your amusement this morning!

I'm sure that you already know this, but these sentences are really Paraprosdokian sentences.

What's that, you say? I'm glad you asked! I just wanted to be the first to share this little bit of information with you!

A paraprosdokian (from Greek "παρα-", meaning "beyond" and "προσδοκία", meaning "expectation") is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.

Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.

Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Ø Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Ø I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on I said "Implants?"

Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Ø I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

Ø I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Well, there ya go! Just a fun way to spend some time this Tuesday morning! Never hurts to learn a little bit from time to time, ya know?

Now, my friends, let's get some fresh coffee and sit outside. We can look over this list and see what we can use later!

Monday, September 13, 2010

But It Was Just An Accident...!

Hey, what can you do when something like this happens?

If the victim says it was an accident, then just write it up and forget about it! Sooner or later there will be a little payback, and the cops will be called to investigate another "accident"!

St. Petersburg man describes being shot five times as an accident

By Andy Boyle, Times Staff Writer
Posted: Sep 09, 2010 10:01 AM

ST. PETERSBURG — Police found 31-year-old Antonio Isom bleeding in the back yard of a home early Thursday.

He had been shot five times, he told police, but said it was an accident and didn't want to press charges.

Police went to 301 25th St. S after an anonymous caller reported that a man was bleeding. They found Isom about 3 a.m.

Isom told police that he had been with a friend, whom he didn't identify, and knocked on the back door of the house. Someone fired through the door at least 12 times, police said, most likely with an assault rifle.

Isom told police the man who shot him is named Pepe Newsome. He couldn't be found.

Cocaine and drug paraphernalia were found inside the house, police said.

"Mr. Isom's statements are being taken with some degree of suspicion," said police spokesman Mike Puetz.

Gee, I wonder what the give away was that the story just might not be truthful? I guess it was the good old fashioned "police instinct" that most police seem to have now days! I have a feeling that one of the officers figured it was fairly hard to "accidentally" get shot by someone 5 times!

Like I said, what can they do? if the guy doesn't want to file charges, so be it!

Let's get some fresh coffee and sit outside for a bit. We can discuss the true meaning of "accidentally"...!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Treasures From The Past...!

You just have to love these stories about long lost things returning from the past!

This kind of story, from the Chronicle, just shows that with a little help from Providence all things are possible!

Lost WWII briefcase sent from Ohio to Texas

© 2010 The Associated Press / The Cincinnati Enquirer
Sept. 11, 2010, 1:04PM

CINCINNATI — Amanda Parker-Wolery was 8 when, on a family vacation in Washington, D.C., her family stumbled upon a battered briefcase filled with World War II memorabilia near the Lincoln Memorial.

Two decades later, Parker-Wolery still remembers how her stomach knotted at the idea of somebody desperately searching for the love letters, old maps and photos that were stuffed inside. Her family unsuccessfully tried for more than a year to find the owner.

Life shoved the mystery to the back burner.

She grew up. Her mother died of cancer. She got married.

But Parker-Wolery never forgot about the bag.

"I always had a feeling in my stomach that this was somebody's life and it doesn't belong to us," said Parker-Wolery, an art teacher who lives in Cincinnati.

Over Labor Day weekend, while cleaning out a shed at her father's home in Mayville, N.Y., where he moved after his wife's death, Parker-Wolery uncovered the silver-buckled, black, plastic briefcase.

It was musty and falling apart. But, the contents remained unscathed.

"It always stuck with me as something I had to do, find the owner," Parker-Wolery said.

This time — thanks to the Internet — it took less than an hour to find Deborah Dean, a 57-year-old Texan and the daughter of the briefcase's owner, Gerald J. Amirault. He died in 1989.

Parker-Wolery called Dean last Saturday.

Dean said she's still in shock.

"I thought I'd never see it again," said Dean, of Hurst, Texas. "The police told me I probably wouldn't either." But the briefcase is in the mail, sent by Parker-Wolery on Wednesday.

The saga started in 1990.

After Amirault died, Dean and her family trekked across the country to Maine, to visit her aunt. Dean hoped she could shed some light on the woman who wrote the love letters to Dean's father.

On the way there, the family stopped in Washington, D.C., where their car was broken into. The thieves took everything — the family's $2,500 in travelers checks, their clothes and the briefcase.

The family still went to Maine, but without being able to look at the documents or pictures, her father's sister couldn't help.

Over the years, Dean has tried to track her father's history, but the job proved impossible. Everything she knew about her father's past was in that briefcase. He never spoke of the war. All she knew was that he served on the front lines in Europe.

Meanwhile, unable to find the owner, Parker-Wolery's mother tucked the briefcase away. She died of cancer 11 years ago. It was put into a Rubbermaid tub, carted to one house and then another. And then to that house's shed.

Parker-Wolery uncovered it while sorting her mother's belongings. She turned to her dad and vowed to find the owner.

After driving back to Ohio last Saturday, she spread the contents of the briefcase on her living room floor.

There were maps of Europe, yellowed, curling at the edges.

A faded black-and-white photo of a young man. The photo wasn't dated.

A luggage tag, suggesting he carried that briefcase with him while in Europe.

And then there were the letters — written in French and broken English over the course of 1945 — from Marie Cleuet. They're long, filled with longings to see Amirault, but also of mundane day-to-day activities.

The two perhaps had an affair, though she talks about her husband and being pregnant with a son. She called Amirault, "my love." She fretted when too long went by between letters, fearful he was angry with her. She talked of wanting to meet up with him in France.

On May 31, 1945, she wrote, "It is a very great pleasure to read your letters and know you are for me. I certainly wish very much to see you very soon."

Parker-Wolery feared over time she had romanticized the contents of the briefcase, her little girl sensibilities turning the story into a fairy tale. But, now she knows there was a mystery woman and some sort of love story.

She searched for clues that would lead her to the briefcase's owner.

Inside was a list of Amirault family names, notations from Dean who was trying to sort out her father's history. And the death certificate, which described Amirault as a sheet metal worker who was born in Fort Worth. He died of a heart attack in April 1989.

It was the most recent document and it had a Hurst, Texas, address on it.

Parker-Wolery tried Facebook first, thinking the name was so unusual the search would turn up just a few results.

She got 600.

She then typed that address into the Internet white pages. Up popped Dean, who moved into her father's home after he died.

"I know this is going to sound weird..." Parker-Wolery's message started.

Dean called right back.

She knew just what briefcase Parker-Wolery was referring to.

"I am just ecstatic," Dean said. "I can't wait to get it back."

Wednesday, Parker-Wolery looked through the letters one last time, brown packing paper and a box waiting nearby.

"I almost don't want to let it go because it's become part of my family history," Parker-Wolery said. "But the truth is I have to let it go, it's not ours."

Parker-Wolery slowly bundled the letters in twine, placing them back inside the plastic case.

On top she tucked a letter to Dean.

In it, she apologizes for taking so long to get the contents back to her. And she wrote: "Thank you for sharing your family's memories with me."

Nice to know that this family now gets the chance to connect again with a part of their past. How great for a family project at the next reunion!

Now, my friend, lets get some fresh coffee and sit on the patio. Supposed to rain later!

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Better Stock Up On Coffee...!

I have a feeling that this is going to be a real problem, and one that marks the preview of things to come!

Coffee has surged to a 13 year high, making me think we are going to be in trouble pretty soon!

Add to that the fact that the U.S. supply is down over 5% from the same time as last year...and the future is looking bleak for those of us that like coffee!

I guess things could get worse! It could be a world wide shortage of toilet paper!

That would be a even worse disaster, especially with all the CRAP being spread around in the political circles these days!

Know just how to tell when these guys are lying? Easy...if their lips are moving!

Coffee prices on the rise

By Blake Ellis, staff reporter
September 10, 2010: 7:55 AM ET

NEW YORK ( -- You may soon find yourself paying more for your morning coffee - if you aren't already.

A trifecta of bad news has sent coffee futures soaring 44% since June, and companies such as Dunkin' Donuts, Green Mountain and Maxwell House are passing on those costs.

Bad weather in South America is threatening crops. Brazil and top exporter Vietnam are talking about hoarding their stocks. And U.S. stockpiles are reportedly at 10-year lows.

That means higher prices for U.S. coffee companies, which, in turn, may mean higher prices for consumers.

Bagged coffee from Folgers, Dunkin' Donuts and Millstone already costs 10% more. The three brands' parent company, J.M. Smucker (SJM), cited "sustained increases in green coffee costs" in announcing the price hike last month.

Kraft Foods (KFT, Fortune 500) raised prices of Maxwell House Coffee and Yuban coffee products by about 9% last month as well. That translates into a price hike of 5 cents to 30 cents per pound of ground coffee and an increase of 2.5 cents per ounce for instant coffee.

And single-serve K-cups - sold as Tully's Coffee, Timothy's Coffee, Newman's Own Organics, Caribou Coffee and other Green Mountain Coffee brands - will see prices rise 10% to 15%, starting Oct. 11. Sales of the brewing system and K-cups make up about 86% of Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. (GMCR)'s business.

"Like others in the coffee industry, we have been closely monitoring rising green coffee costs," Scott McCreary, president of Green Mountain's specialty coffee unit, said in a statement. "While we have the flexibility to absorb some short-term cost increases, the sustained nature of the increases we've experienced over the past three months led us to conclude it is necessary to adjust our pricing."

The ripple effect: As retailers start paying more, the coffee you drop into your shopping cart may very soon start costing you more at the register.

Supermarket chain Publix said it has left some coffee prices unchanged to remain competitive. But the grocer has boosted prices on some brands, including a container of Folgers Classic Aroma Coffee, which used to cost $8.99 and is now being sold for $9.99.

One bright spot: While you may be paying more at the grocery store, your daily cup of joe at the corner coffee shop may be spared because pricing decisions are made by each shop individually.

"We may at various times increase or decrease prices on some items," Starbucks (SBUX, Fortune 500) said in a statement. "We continually review our food and beverage prices on a market by market basis taking the economic environment, customer demand, competition, cost of goods and labor costs, as well as other factors into consideration."

Popular morning hot spot Dunkin' Donuts said that it's not yet raising prices at its locations.

"Dunkin' Donuts restaurants are independently owned and operated by franchisees, who are responsible for making their own pricing decisions," the company said in a statement. "While we are aware of J.M. Smucker Company's recent price increase for grocery store coffee, it will not impact the cost of coffee in our restaurants."

Supply crunch: With U.S. coffee stockpiles at multi-year lows and world coffee exports down 5.2% in July compared to a year earlier, worries about a supply crunch have driven prices higher.

"It's the age-old principle of supply and demand," said Hector Galvan, a senior trading adviser at RJO Futures. "The larger coffee-growing nations like Colombia and Brazil are having really significant issues getting good crop out to the market."

And while a large crop is expected in Brazil next year, he said poor weather conditions could further cut production in Vietnam and Central American countries from 2010 to 2011.

Track coffee, pork bellies, wheat, and other hot commodities
"The current behavior of prices reflects uncertainties concerning short-term coffee supplies," Néstor Osorio, executive director of the International Coffee Organization, said in a statement.

As uncertainties persist, investors are placing significant bets on where prices are headed, said Galvan, with prices approaching the psychologically important $2-a-pound level.

"With all these supply fears, investors are jumping on the money train - even mom and pop investors want to jump on because of how evident the [production] issues have been over the last couple months," he said.

Now, my friends, let's get some fresh coffee and sit outside for a bit. Oh, and sometimes today, stop and take time to say a prayer for the families of all those that we lost in the attack of 9/11!

God Bless The Families and survivors of the dastardly attack. Also say a prayer of thanks for all the workers and rescue workers tat worked so tirelessly to save lives, OK?

Friday, September 10, 2010

Some Blast From The Past...!

I haven't heard these for a while, so I thought I would play them.

I always liked the Statler Brothers...still do! They were fairly popular back when music was music and things made more sense!

The world is going a little more mad each day, and I find myself wanting to separate myself from the madness far more than I used to!

Hell...I guess I'm starting to feel my age a bit more! But that's OK, because I feel that I'm not alone in that!

Anyway, here are a couple of memories just for you, my friends! Enjoy!

Just one more this morning...!

Dang...I find myself waiting for the cereal commercials! Simpler times, my friends...simpler times!

How about some fresh coffee on the patio? Not as hot this morning!

Thursday, September 9, 2010

A Snack Or A Playmate...!

It's been a while since we've had a true "feel good" story on here.

I figured that today, if you don't mind, I'd put one on here...complete with pictures.

We all need a touch of something like this from time to time, and I'm no different! This is really more for me than anything else, because I was starting to get a little down on things in general.

You know how it is. Every so often, we just seem to hit a wall and start getting a little disappointed in things in general. I was getting that way, and this is an attempt to head that off at the pass, if you know what I mean!

Any way, I hope you enjoy this!

Photographer Michel Denis-Huot, who captured these amazing pictures on safari in Kenya 's Masai Mara in October last year, said he was astounded by what he saw:

"These three cheetah brothers have been living together since they left their mother at about 18 months old,' he said. 'On the morning we saw them, they seemed not to be hungry, walking quickly but stopping sometimes to play together. 'At one point, they met a group of impala who ran away. But one youngster was not quick enough and the brothers caught it easily'".

These extraordinary scenes followed.

This was the lucky day for the youngster. Instead of becoming dinner, he just made three new friends! We all need a day like this, where we go from being a small being a new friend ! Don't you think?

Now, my friends, let's get some coffee and sit outside before it gets too hot!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Zombies 101...For Real !

I didn't know they even taught this in school!

Guess maybe it was added to the optional classes after my time because I certainly don't remember it being offered in my day!

A class to die for: Zombies 101

Sept. 7, 2010 10:04 AM
Associated Press

BALTIMORE - Call it Zombies 101.

The University of Baltimore is offering a new class on the undead.

The course is being taught by Arnold Blumberg, the author of a book on zombie movies, "Zombiemania," and the curator of Geppi's Entertainment Museum, which focuses on American pop culture.

Students taking English 333 will watch 16 classic zombie films and read zombie comics. As an alternative to a final research paper they may write scripts or draw storyboards for their ideal zombie flicks.

The university isn't the first to have a class on the undead. Columbia College in Chicago has offered a course on Zombies in popular media for years, and at Simpson College in Iowa students spent the spring semester writing a book on "The History of the Great Zombie War."

You know, I can't decide just what is more scary...the fact that some colleges are teaching classes like this, or the fact that students can spend mommy and daddy's money to take this crap in school!

No wonder folks are getting out of college and are unable to find a job in the real world! Guess courses like "Zombies-101" don't teach students just how to put food on the table and pay the rent! Oh well, life can be a bitch, I reckon!

Now, my friends, let's get some fresh coffee and sit in the kitchen for a bit!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Amusing Signs...!

We all like amusing signs, and some of these show some very creative thinking!

I have to admire folks that can offer a little humor to those that are facing what otherwise might be very discouraging life situations!

I'm all in favor of doing whatever we can to help make the best of a bad time! From what I've seen, the people that have these signs are certainly working towards that end! See what you think...!

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:

"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

In a Podiatrist's office:

"Time wounds all heels."

On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

On a Plumber's truck:

"We repair what your husband fixed."

On another Plumber's truck:

"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

On a Church's Bill board:

"7 days without God makes one weak."

At a Tire Store

"Invite us to your next blowout."

On an Electrician's truck:

"Let us remove your shorts."

In a Non-smoking Area:

"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On a Maternity Room door:

"Push. Push. Push."

At an Optometrist's Office:

"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist's window:

"We really know our stuff."

On a Fence:

"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

At a Car Dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a Car Exhaust Store:

"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a Vets waiting room:

"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

In a Restaurant window:

"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

Sign on the back of yet another

Septic Tank Truck:

"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

And don't forget the sign at a


"Best place in town to take a leak."

I hope you enjoyed these signs. C'mon, you did smile a bit! Ya know you did...! That's really all I was after! To make you smile!

Now, my friends, let's get some fresh coffee and sit in the kitchen for a bit. Raining outside, so inside is a good place to be!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Some More Thoughts On Aging...!

You know, the older we get, the more we seem to think deeper about life in general.

We ponder our past, our future, and our present path. Many times we spend way too much time thinking about missed opportunity and past mistakes...and that's not a good thing!

One would think that as we got older, we would try and stay positive about everything. At least, as positive as possible considering all the headlines.

Maybe I can help you a bit to stay positive by sharing a few of these thoughts on aging. Hopefully a few of them might make you smile a bit. If they don't make you smile, maybe they will at least make you stop thinking about your age!

First ~ Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

Second ~ The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.

Third ~ Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know 'why' I look this way. I've traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren't paved.

Fourth ~ When you're dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.

Fifth ~ You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.

Sixth ~ I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.

Seventh ~ One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.

Eighth ~ One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been. >

Ninth ~ Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable.

Tenth ~ Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it's called golf.

And, finally ~ If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you are old.

As much as I would like to say I thought of all these gems on my own, I'll have to admit that they all came from a gentleman called Will Rogers! You may have heard of him...pretty smart fella, from wht I understand!

Anyway, I do hope you all have a great holiday today! Be safe and be careful! It's a jungle out there!

Now, my friends, let's get some fresh coffee and sit outside for a bit. We can share our thoughts on aging, OK?

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Gotta Love The Lawyers...!

We all knew that many lawyers were suspect when it came to common sense, but some of these questions help to prove us right!

All you can do when you hear some of these is to shake your head and make note not to hire this attorney for ANYTHING!

People say some funny things and attorney's are certainly not exempt. Here are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!


ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.


ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?


ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget..

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?


ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.




WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.


ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?


ATTORNEY: How many were boys?


ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?


ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Take a guess.


ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Unless the circus was in town I'm going with male.


ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.


ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?


ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.


ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you kidding me?


ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?


ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Having sex.

You know, come to think about it I believe one of these guys was my attorney during one of my divorces! Of course, you can't be sure as they all act pretty much the same.

There are a few those involved in the Prepping community. Just a shame that they are the exception other than the rule! Oh well, guess we can only hope!

Let's get some fresh coffee, my friends, and sit outside on the patio. We can swap some good lawyer jokes!

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Fun Facts For Saturday...!

Let's take a little time out this weekend for some silliness.

I'm not talking about the type that we see daily from the newscasters or the papers...but the kind of silliness that can help get through the tough times!

I used to do this all the time, but haven't done it in a while. Good for a change of pace, don't you think?

Did You Know?

Monday is the only day of the week that has an anagram: dynamo

It takes 4,000 grains of sugar to fill a teaspoon.

Your thumbnail grows more slowly than any of your fingenails.

Each employee at Ben & Jerry's headquarters gets three pints of free ice cream a day.

The smallest, shallowest ocean on Earth: The Arctic Ocean.

A buffalo can jump as high as six feet off the ground.

The ball on top of a flagpole is called a "truck."

Democrats are more likely than Republicans to own a cat.

SUV drivers are twice as likely to talk on a cellphone as drivers of other kinds of cars.

Shakespeares's daughter was illiterate.

A pineapple is actually a very big berry.

A potato's closest edible relative is the eggplant.

The Great Salt Lake is six times saltier than seawater.

40% of our Army personnel are members of an ethnic minority.

A parrot can not get appendicitis....they don't have one.

The world's largest consumer of sugar is Coca-Cola.

Dividing something into squares is known as graticulation.

The first health food store opened in Boston in 1830.

The first animated characters on TV commercials were the Ajax pixies.

75% of the trees in Australia are eucalyptus.

There are about as many nerve cells in your brain as there are stars in our galaxy (give or take a billion).

75% of stage and screen actors do not use their real names.

Mormon leader Brigham Young had 56 kids by 27 wives.

President Lyndon Johnson had an aunt named Frank.

There are enough calories in a Big Mac to run a vacuum cleaner for 98 minutes.

One cord of wood (4 ft x 4 ft x 8 ft) will make 75 million toothpicks.

The first chalkboard was used in school in 1714.

Cranberries get their name from Crane-berry - they grow on a stalk that looks like a crane's neck.

The largest living thing on Earth is an underground mushroom in Oregon. It is 3.5 miles across.

The origin of the term bridal shower comes from English brides who used to buy "bride ale" for their wedding guests.

Sahara comes from the Arabic word Sahra, which means desert.

During 33 seasons on the air, Mr. Roger's trolley traveled more than 100 miles on its track.

The traditional gift for 44th wedding anniversary is....groceries.

Think surfing is dead? Nope! There are over 17 million surfers around the world.

Sweden has a ski-thru McDonalds!

There is 10,800 feet of film in a two-hour movie.

The 2001 Federal Tax cut added 14,368 pages to the U.S. Tax Code.

The official state dance of Utah is the Square Dance.

31% of men say they look at other women when with their significant other. 62% of women say their significant others do.

After a three-week vacation, your IQ can drop by as much as 20%.

Monkeys given paint and paper on which to draw will scream in anger when an unfinished work is taken from them. But they don't object to having a finished painting taken.

Most parrots are left-handed (footed maybe?!).

Dolphins can hear underwater sounds from as far as 15 miles away.

If you count one star a second, you won't get out of our own galaxy in over 2,000 years.

A man once lost his car in a parking garage for two years. The tab: $3,400.00

In the year 2000, Tiger Wood's caddie made $1 million.

Detroit has more 'registered' bowlers than any other American city.

It takes 10 pounds of milk to make one pound of cheese.

The little statue on the grill of every Rolls Royce car has a name: "Spirit of Ecstasy."

The sale of hearing aids rose 40% when President Reagan got his.

The city of Edinburgh, Scotland is built on top of an extinct volcano.

Lions and Tigers can't purr. Cougars can.

The first vertebra of your neck is called the 'Atlas,' because it holds up your head.

The handle of a bucket is actually called a 'bail.'

The slang term 'hootch' came from the Hootchinoo Indians, who made liquor so strong that it knocked out many of the first white settlers who tried it.

Baby seahorses are called 'colts.'

Lead melts at a temperture of 620 degrees F; tin at 446 F. Mix them together & they melt at 356 degrees F.

During his lifetime, Shakespeare's last name was spelled 83 different ways. Shakespeare himself spelled it 10 different ways.

Number of documented deaths by piranha: 0

Mississippi Bay is actually off the coast of Yokohama, Japan

Longest name in the Bible: Mahershalalhashbaz (Isaiah 8:1)

There are only four countries on Earth with one-syllable names: Chad, France, Greece & Spain.

There are over 15,000 miles of neon lights along the Las Vegas strip.

The rare red coral of the Mediterranean is actually blue.

The gray whale is actually black.

The Atlantic salmon is actually a member of the trout family.

The Caspian Sea and the Dead Sea are both actually lakes.

The horseshoe crab is more closely related to spiders than crabs.

The Douglas fir is actually a pine tree.

Now, I don't have any idea what you can use any of this information for...but if you ever need it you now have it! See? You just never know what you may pick up when you visit the Hermit!

Now, my friends, let's get some fresh coffee and sit outside for a bit! I'll be quiet now, I promise!