Friday, October 16, 2009

A Hermit's View Of The Stimulus....!


You may have heard me say this before...my sisters are very talented ladies!

My baby sis is pretty smart about financial stuff as well. Smarter than me, anyway! Of course, that ain't saying a lot...but she is pretty savvy in this stuff!

Anyway, she sent me this little bit o information and it made so much sense to me, I wanted to share it with all my friends. Hope it helps you like it did me...!

Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q. Where will the government get this money?
A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
A. Only a smidgen.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

. If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China .
. If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India .
. If you purchase fruit or vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala .
. If you buy a car, it will go to Japan .
. If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
. If you pay off your credit cards, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses, and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:
1. Spending it at yard sales, or
2. Going to ball games, or
3. Spending it on prostitutes, or
4. Beer, or
5. Tattoos.
(These seem to be the only American businesses still operating in the US .)

It would be best if you went to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and then drank American beer all day.

See what I mean? When explained this manor, it all makes perfect sense...in a twisted sort of way!

Now, my friends, let's get some fresh coffee and sit outside for a bit! That's another thing that makes a lot of sense!

18 comments:

Kyddryn said...

The best thing I heard about the stimulus was when I was working at the RenFest last Spring - a friend who was working at another booth told a Wench she could come stimulate his economy any day.

We joked about the size and usefulness of his stimulus package, much to the delight of passers-by...and more people benefited from our bawds, I'll wager, than have from that travesty passed by Congress.

It still makes my head spin, the idea that a stimulus can be passed giving me a small amount of my own money as a loan against more of my money to be collected in the future to pay for things I don't want or need so people who don't need but want that pittance can make a little more profit, all while denying me the funds I do need to keep food on the table because I have to pay back the loan for the last stimulus, most of which went to someone else any way. So...dizzy...

Whew.

I'll take some of that coffee, Mister Hermit, sir...all this economic foolery makes my brain sluggish.

Shade and Sweetwater,
K

houstonmom said...

That is so sad. Almost anywhere our money is spent, it goes somewhere else. And if you try to sell something here you are penalized. I do not understand how the DOW is up over 10K. Blows my mind. Makes me think we're headed for a bigger crash.

Now, back to my fancy coffee from China. Enjoy your weekend and the cold front!

Anonymous said...

Funny and sad at the same time - sigh. But that cold front is sure making me happy - nearly hit the century mark yesterday afternoon for high. Mid to low 80's today - that front is juuuust north of us right now.

Have a great weekend HermitJim.

Baby Sis said...

Thanks for the vote of confidence, Bubba, but if I were as financially savvy as you give me credit for being, I would not be hurting so right now. Since I don't intend to hire a protitute or buy tickets for a ball game (I only go when it's free), I'll maybe find a garage sale and take my own coffee from home. Thanks for keeping things real -

JoJo said...

Good Morning My Special One,
How true all this is. Mine went to pay bills.
Did someone mention a cooling front? Our temps are back in the high 90s again.
Lets have some coffee while it is still nice out.
Hugs

HermitJim said...

Hey K...
It does make one dizzy, trying to keep it all straight, doesn't it? Like I said...I need someone else to explain it all to me!

On second thought, I am not even going to try and understand it...not worth the time, for sure!

Thanks for the visit this morning, K...!


Hey Kris...
I guess it's like the old saying goes...the figures don't lie, but any liar can make figures!

The Dow is just a bunch of figures thrown together by folks to make things look better on paper, I'm thinking!

Thanks for coming by today, Kris!


Hey Anon 7:11...
I could use a nice cold front right now...I believe they said it was supposed to only get up to high 70s today! I'll believe it when I see it!

Thanks for coming by today, I appreciate it!


Hey Sis...
Guess that a lot of us are in the same boat, for sure! Hell, I'm so broke I can't even pay attention!

i sure do thank you for coming by today!


Hey JoJo...
I just ordered up some snuggling weather, my sweet thang! It should get here around Christmas!

Hey, thanks so much for dropping in!

Did it MY way said...

Where will it end? Buy American before it's to late. There are sites available for American made products. I just wonder if it's to late already. Americans brought this on by buying the products. And our government gave away all our manufacturing.

Damn I'll get pissed, and start to rant again. Need to stop and have a coffee & cig to calm my nerves.

See Ya

HermitJim said...

Hey Tony...
One extra strength coffee coming up! BTW, there's a bottle of Jack Daniels "snake bite medicine" on the side board...!

We gave most of the jobs and money and have basically put ourselves in the position of being dependent on other "less than friendly" countries! Now we may be forced to pay the piper for our dance!

Thanks for coming by today, buddy!

Catman said...

How about charging admission at a yard sale so people could watch an entire ball team take on a tattooed prostitute.

The beer for the crowd would be $3.00.

Gotta make a profit.

And to HoustonMom, pay attention to the market. People are watching for a slide today. In the last Great Depression, the market "recovered" after the initial hit, only to drop even worse about a year later.

HermitJim said...

Hey Catman...
Now that's an idea I hadn't thought of! Thanks for the suggestions and the visit this morning, buddy!

Mayberry said...

Well if'n ya ask me, that sounds an AWEFUL lot like a Ponzi scheme! I don't know anyone who bears a striking resemblence to myself who's been screaming that from the mountaintops for the last year and a half!!!! ; )

The cottage by the Cranelake said...

Two good ones :-) :-)
Have a great day now!
Christer.

HermitJim said...

Hey Mayberry...
It does seem like I read something about this on your blog a while back...!

I guess all we can do is try and laugh a bit about what has become a sad thing...and the bad part? It's gonna get worse before it gets better!

Thanks for coming by today, my friend!


Hey Christer...
Glad you liked it! Always a pleasure when I can have someone smile a bit at the post!

Thank you for coming by today, my friend!

Mamma Bear said...

Before long we will all need coffee by IV just to keep up with everything the Gov is trying to hide!

Have a good day Hermit Jim as well as a nice forever!

HermitJim said...

Hey Mamma Bear...
Ya know, that doesn't sound like a bad idea to me...certainly would save me a lot of time!

You have a good day as well...and thanks for coming by for a visit this morning!

Ken said...

...second hand shopping,is the only thing 'buy American' left...

...i still go outa my way to buy the things i need,if knowing they're American made at a 'certain place'...sure gettin tough these days to find tho

HermitJim said...

Hey Ken...
I'm glad to report that they are building a new Goodwill store and distributing center just down the road from my house! Good news for me!

Thanks for coming by, buddy!

houstonmom.wordpress.com said...

Catman... down 63 points today. Hmmm.