Saturday, October 3, 2009

Wish I Had Said This...!


There are times when someone comes up with an idea that is brilliant!

My friend, Minerva, sent me this...and I wish that I had figured it out a long time ago! I could have saved myself a lot of trouble if I had only known the science, ya know?

Two New additions to the Periodic Table of Elements


Element Name: WOMANIUM

Symbol: WO Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)

Physical properties: Generally soft and round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze any time. Melts when treated properly. Very bitter if not used well.

Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum, and precious stones. Violent when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns slightly green when placed next to a better specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands!



Element Name: MANIUM

Symbol: XY Atomic Weight: (200 +/- 50)

Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as younger samples.

Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: CHILDIUM) for prolonged periods of time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are able to produce large quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.


Now most men have known something like this was true for a long time! It's nice that somebody could finally give us some scientific proof that what we thought was just a very strong possibility...was in fact true! Ain't science great?

Now, my friends, let's get some coffee and sit outside for a bit! No science needed to know that's an enjoyable experience!

16 comments:

Kyddryn said...

Ah, so now I have proof that there are truly elemental differences between us innies and outies. Hah!

Thanks for the laugh, Mister Hermit, sir.

Shade and Sweetwater,
K

Ken said...

...now this one is truly priceless,worth repeating,and totally truthful...lol

...one change i would make "explosive in ANY hands"...lmao

...they need a print on the forehead "Front:Toward Enemy"...lol

HermitJim said...

Hey K...
I never heard us referred to as "innies and outies" before! Man, I am still laughing over that one!

Glad you liked it and glad you could drop by today!


Hey Ken...
Man, ain't it the truth! Ain't it the truth!

Good to see you tonite...or ths orning, my friend!

The cottage by the Cranelake said...

Ahh, now I understand so much better :-) :-)
Have a great day now!
Christer.

houstonmom said...

Now that is funny, mostly b/c it has a hint of truth.. maybe more than a hint.

enjoy your coffee and have a good weekend.

HermitJim said...

Hey Christer...
Glad that I could help to spread the knowledge! Always happy to do my part...

Wonder if I get any points for this?

Thanks for coming by today...!

HermitJim said...

Hey Kris...
Yep...I think your right! There probably is just a bit of truth here...

Glad that you enjoyed it, my friend...and thanks for coming by today!

Mo said...

Very clever! Might be a bit too much truth in it to share with the wife though... Thanks for posting.

JoJo said...

Good Morning my Special One, I will have to think on some of this. All this explosive stuff. lol
woke up to rain early this morning its nice and looks like an all day
thing.
Nice day for coffee on the porch.

HermitJim said...

Hey Mo...
There are parts of this that she might agree with very easily...and then again, who knows?

Hey, thanks for coming by today, my friend!


Hey JoJo...
It's trying to rain again here! A small cold front came through and the temps have been a little cooler than normal..

I'm ready for a little bit of cooler weather, for sure! Sure makes the sleeping good!

Good snuggle weather as well!

Thanks for coming by, sweetie!

Felinae said...

LOL!

So that explains it all. I knew somewhere in the back of my mind there had to be a logical explanation.

Thanks Uncle Hermit, between you and YeOldFurt's posts, I shall go to work with a smile.

Hugs,
~Felinae~

Did it MY way said...

Morning Jim;
Can't believe how you find this stuff. LMAO

See Ya

HermitJim said...

Hey Felinae...
I'm so glad that I could do my part to brighten your day, my feline friend!

I figure that i you have to go to work...the very least that we that don't have to can do, is to send you off with a smile!

You have a blessed day, and thank you for stopping by!


Hey Tony...
It's often a case of it finding me, ya know?

My friend, I appreciate you coming by today!

Missi Mi said...

Wo Man Ium think the scientists need to be shot into the next black whole revealing these secrets about us :-P


Very clever Jim! Love how you keep the giggles coming when your not teaching us a new thing or two. Even put a link to it from todays post.

Take care

xox-Missi-xox

HermitJim said...

Hey Missi...
Always a pleasure, my Aussie friend! I'm so glad you enjoyedf the post and so happy that you could come by for a visit...!

Thanks!

THE GUYS said...

Very Clever!

Now we finally get it!

THE GUYS