Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Hey, It Ain't Rocket Science...!

As you know, I am often a warehouse of almost useless information!

When I find something I think is interesting, then I feel duty bound to call it to your attention! After all, that's what I do, ya know?

Listen, it's not easy as you think! Sometimes I have to read page after page of really serious stuff to find some small bit of not-so-serious stuff that you might find interesting! It's hard work, but someone has to do it!

This list of ways to find your "true love" is a very good example of what I'm talking about! This is from a 1986 copy of the Farmer's Almanac, so you know it's got to be true, right? Yeah, and all politicians are going to behave properly from now on!

Herewith, from science and folklore, are over 20 surefire techniques for finding, attracting, and wedding the person you will love forever.

Roast hummingbird hearts, grind them into a powder, and sprinkle it on your beloved.

Kiss as many people as possible. Dr. Bubba Nicholson of Tampa, Florida, says that kissing is a way for us to taste semiochemicals on another's skin. Semiochemicals transmit biological signals of compatability and attraction.

Pluck a stalk of yarrow and stick it up your nose. If a drop of blood appears, your love is true.

Australian aborigines prepare a love potion from the testicles of kangaroos.

Think of the one you love while you swallow a four-leaf clover, and your love will be returned.

Upon hearing the first coo of a dove in the spring, take off your left stocking and look in the heel of it. You will find a hair the color of your true love's hair.

Swallow the heart of a wild duck.

On New Year's Eve, walk from one room to another while throwing a shoe over your shoulder, then look in a mirror and your mate's face will be there.

Place a snail in a pan of cornmeal, and the tracks it makes will spell your true love's initials.

Hide the dried tongue of a turtledove in a girl's room; she will love you forever.

In 18th-century France, a man told a woman three times that she was beautiful. The first time she was required to thank him, the second time to believe him, and the third time to reward him.

If you touch your little finger and forefinger behind your two middle fingers, you can have any sweetheart you like.

Swallow a white dove's heart, point downward, while resting your hand on the shoulder of one you love.

Hardboil an egg, cut it in half, discard the yolk, and fill the egg halves with salt. Sit on something you've never sat on before, eat the egg, and walk to bed backwards. You will dream of your future mate.

Walk around the block with your mouth full of water; if you don't swallow it, you will marry within the year.

Pull a hair from the head of a girl you like, and she will love you.

Pick an apple, prick it full of holes, carry it for a while under your left arm, then give it to your lover.

If you stub your toe, kiss your thumb and you'll see your beau.

Cut your nails on nine Sundays in a row.

Stop looking. Many experts agree that searching for a perfect mate is doomed. Be flexible and commit to the unknown. But if you must look, then carry the heart of an owl with you at all times.

Now to be honest, I have never tried any of these suggestions, so I have no idea if they work or not! What I would like for you to do is this...if you try any or all of these, and they work, please let me know! I'll write a full post about it if they turn out to be true!

Who knows? We could write a book of these ideas, get it published, and make a lot of money! Or not!

For now, my friends, let's just get some fresh coffee and sit in the kitchen for a bit! We can talk about how we would spend all that money...if we had any!


Did it MY way said...

Good morning Jim;

I remember pulling the hair of a girl I liked.....maybe fourth grade. I also remember her slapping me. Guess I got lucky. She did not marry me. lol

I don't think I'd try any of the others.

See Ya

Phelan said...

I've done the snail one. Turns out that my true loves name is srvns.

Go figure :D

Baby Sis said...

Bubba -

Are you sure that Almanac wasn't from 1886? Doves' hearts and roasted Hummingbirds?? Think I'll stick with our more modern ways, though I'm testament that they don't always work! In that case, I say try, try again....

But I'll always love you, Big Brother!

Big Hugs -

Gen-IL Homesteader said...

Those were absolutely hilarious! I've never known any woman who would love a man who put a dried tongue of a turtledove in her room. Maybe she's out there....if she is, grab her and hold on. She's an unusual one! Thanks for those, Hermit!

HermitJim said...

Hey Tony...
Still remember the slap, huh? Funny how some things stick with us!

Think I'll pass on trying these things as well!

Thanks for the visit!

Hey Phelan...
Looks like those snails just can't spell very well! Why does that not surprise me?

Hey, thanks for oming by today!

Hey Sis...
They said the published them in 1986, but where they got them from is anyone's guess! They do sound like they are a lot older, huh?

Thanks for coming by today!

Hey Gen...
Maybe the point is to put it in a place where she wouldn't find it!

I'm not sure, but that sounds like a lot of work to me!

Maybe I'll just try something simple, like putting an ad in the paper!

Hey, thanks for dropping in today!

Anonymous said...

One of those had me a little worried... The heart of the wild duck one. Do you remove the heart first, or just swallow the whole damn duck?


HermitJim said...

Hey AV...
I'm thinking the heart should be removed first, but only because the feathers might have another use!

Besides, if you swallowed the whole duck...folks might think you were a little strange! (Just in case the heart thing didn't already give them cause for concern!)

Hey, I appreciate your dropping in today!

Felinae said...

I guess it's a good thing I'm not looking. :D

These are a bit odd, that's for sure. LOL! Thanks for the interesting info this morning. :)


JoJo said...

Good mornin my special one, these are just to funny and I sure think I would rather stay single than to try any of them.
Coffee around an nice warm and cozy kitchen sounds wonderful on this cold and cloudy day.

HermitJim said...

Hey Felinae...
You and me both, girl! Don't know that I want to know anything bad enough to swallow some of that stuff!

Besides, somethings are much more fun as a surprise!

Thanks for coming by today!

HermitJim said...

Hey JoJo...
Think I'm with you on that one...

Inside is a very good place to be today! Cold enough outside to make me want to stay inside and warm, ya know?

Thanks, Sweetie, for coming over!

edifice rex said...

LOL! those were great and even though I've done some silly things to meet men, I'll think I'll pass on these ideas; except for that last one- stop looking! I think that's my best bet!

HermitJim said...

Hey ER...
They ar pretty funny, aren't they? Just imagine, at some point in time folks used to believe in a lot of this stuff!

Judging from the list on your blog, I think you have the meeting guys thing down pretty good! Nice thing is...most of them seem to be good guys!

Bet you didn't have to swallow a single duck's heart to meet them either!

Hey, I sure do appreciate you dropping by today!

Ken said...,never a dull moment...funny stuff Jim,thanx fer the grin this morn'...

Sissy said...

I'm wondering if all these remedies are scientifially proven and think I just must get a subscription to Farmer's Almanac. Surely we can have faith in its advice...don't you think so?

Good post Hermit. We need that healing laughter every day. Keep 'em coming.

The cottage by the Cranelake said...

I think I´ll pass on that :-) :-) Thanks once again for a good laughe!
Have a great day now!

HermitJim said...

Hey Ken...
You know how I am, buddy! Always looking for a way to brighten the day just a bit!

I really appreciate you coming by today!

Hey Sissy...
You are certainly more than welcome, my friend!

If you like the Almanac, you can read it online at
Be sure to sign up for their free news letter as well!

Glad you took the time to drop by today...!

Hey Christer...
Aww c'mon...! Where is your sense of adventure?

I really don't blame you a bit! A couple of these are even out of my range of things I want to do!

Thanks, Christer, for coming by!

Gen-IL Homesteader said...

Hey Hermit, just wanted you to know that I liked this post so much, I put a link to it on my facebook page.

HermitJim said...

Hey Gen...
Why, thank ya, my friend! I'm glad you enjoyed the post! Hope that it put a smile on your face...and that you don't ever have to try any of them.

Thanks for the link...and for stopping by!