Like the old saying goes..."everyone talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it!".
Well, I've decided to do something about it by furnishing a few jokes to help take your mind off the Winter conditions if only for a bit!
This is part of my new attempt to distract us all from all the depressing things like politics and crazy weather that we have no control over! If nothing else, these little attempts will serve as an amusing way to pass some time while standing in the return line at the local "Big Box" store!
Thoughts About Winter
It was so cold ... we had to chop up the piano for firewood -- but we only got two chords.
What kind of coffee were they serving when the Titanic hit an iceberg? Sanka.
What do you call 10 Arctic hares hopping backward through the snow together? A receding hare line.
What vegetable was forbidden on the ships of Arctic explorers? Leeks.
What do snow kids have for breakfast? Ice Krispies.
What happened when the snowgirl had an argument with the snowboy? She gave him the cold shoulder.
What's an ig? A snow house without a loo.
What do you call a snowman in the summer? A puddle.
And more really important questions
What do snowmen wear on their heads? Ice caps
What do you get if you cross a snowman and a shark? Frost bite
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a baker? Frosty the dough man.
And some less serious comparisons
65 degrees: Hawaiians declare a two-blanket night
60: Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)
40: Californians shiver uncontrollably
– Minnesotans go swimming
35: Italian cars don't start (of course, many don't start at 70 degrees, either)
32: Water freezes
25: Ohio water freezes
– Californians whimper
– Minnesotans eat ice cream
– Canadians go swimming
0: Alaskans put on T-shirts
- 40: Californians disappear
– Minnesotans button top button
– Canadians put on sweaters
And one not- so-lame joke
What do you get from sitting on the ice too long? Polaroids.
Another way to get by with Winter here is to get some fresh coffee and sit in the kitchen for a bit. In fact, that's probably the best way of all!