Tuesday, January 18, 2011

A Bit Over The Edge...!

I'm thinking this might just be over the edge as far as rules go!

I mean, I knew these folks had some strict dress codes, but really...this is going a bit too far! Keep in mind now that these rules are the "relaxed" version!

Swiss bank revises its 44-page dress code for employees

By FRANK JORDANS Associated Press
Jan. 17, 2011, 4:03PM

GENEVA — Good news for Swiss bankers: They may soon be allowed to wear red underwear, black nail polish — and even eat garlic.

Swiss banking giant UBS AG said Monday it is revising its 44-page dress code telling its Swiss staff how to present themselves, which generated worldwide ridicule for its micromanagement of their dressing and dining habits.

The code instructs employees on everything from their breath — no garlic or onions, please — to their underwear, which should be skin-colored.

"We're reviewing what is important to us," UBS spokesman Andreas Kern told The Associated Press.

He said the bank would issue a pared-down booklet with more general guidelines on how to impress customers with a polished presence and sense of Swiss precision and decorum.

The existing code tells female employees how to apply makeup, what kind of perfume to wear and what color stockings are acceptable. It advises them not to show roots if they color their hair and to avoid black nail polish.

"You can extend the life of your knee socks and stockings by keeping your toenails trimmed and filed," Zurich-based UBS told its female staff. "Always have a spare pair: stockings can be provisionally repaired with transparent nail polish and a bit of luck."

Men are told how to knot a tie, to make sure they get a haircut every month and to avoid unruly beards and earrings.

"Glasses should always be kept clean," the code instructs. "On the one hand this gives you optimal vision, and on the other hand dirty glasses create an appearance of negligence."

The guidelines also recommended that employees always wear wristwatches to signal "trustworthiness and a serious concern for punctuality."

The UBS style guide prompted derision and disbelief when it first surfaced last month, but Kern insisted it was still good for the bank's reputation in the long run.

"Everyone knows the staff in our banks strive for the perfect look," he said.

So will employees now be able to wear red underwear? Who checked to see if they did before? Kern declined to give specific examples of planned changes.

A spokesman for rival bank Credit Suisse said he understands what UBS was trying to achieve.

"Every Swiss bank with private or retail customers has some sort of guidelines," Marc Dosch said. "UBS has taken it to absurd lengths, but in general it's a good thing that people have some guidance."

He noted that banks aren't alone in telling their employees what to wear: "There are gas stations, burger bars and supermarkets where you have to wear ties, and even silly hats at Christmas," he said.

The 157-year-old UBS has a history of providing detailed advice for its employees, which numbered 65,000 worldwide at the end of 2009. A handbook for bank trainees gives a country-by-country behavior guide.

In Russia, it tells employees to be prepared to hold your drink at business engagements and to "never reject an invitation to the sauna."

In Latin America, "turning up before an appointment might even be considered rude."

And in the United States, it says, "never criticize the President."

Now, I guess my main question is...just what the hell does all this have to do with how well these folks handle all the money they look out for? My guess is NOT MUCH!

This is the kind of thing that makes me realize just how screwed up the world is in the matter of priorities! The right colored underwear? Please...give me a break!

Coffee in the kitchen this morning!


Ben in Texas said...

Different folks, Different Strokes.
Hell I just wish some of our places had some sort of dress code, like no nose rings, or lip piercing, no visible tattoos ( they just look dirty) AND the English Language must be spoken in a clear audible level at all times. AND DO NOT text or talk on the phone while dealing with the person at the counter who is paying you salary!!!

Dizzy-Dick said...

I guess now that they loosened the rules some, the underwear checker got laid off, right?

JoJo said...

Good Morning My Special One,
Well that sure is nice of them to lighten up a bit. I used to work in a place that had hard core dress codes, they would send out a letter telling you when it was ok to change from a blue shirt to a white one and long sleeve to short. And the women never could wear slacks. Well somewhere they lightened up to and man it was horrible to see the way the young ones started coming to work. It was like they crawled out of a dirty clothes hamper.piercing everywhere and tats guys and gals
Oh well I don't have to worry about that anymore. :)

Beatrice P. Boyd said...

Morning HJ, well this does seem a bit severe, but from the way some folks dress these days, maybe setting down rules and regs isn't so bad, even if a bit extreme. Seems many folks just don't have common sense anymore OR dress in a place with no mirrors.

HermitJim said...

Hey Dizzy...
I guess he could always get a job at one of the U.S. airlines as a "feeler-upper"! Seems to be right in line with what they have been doing!

Thanks for the visit.

Hey JoJo...
It's a shame that folks don't take more pride in how they dress, but I'm not sure I want to work somewhere that tells me what color of underwear to wear!

What if I didn't want to wear any at all? Reckon that would be a problem?

Thanks, sweetie, for coming by today!

Hey Beatrice...
Can't figure out just what folks are thinking any more with the way they dress!

Choice of hair styles is the same way...

More than I can deal with, that's for sure! Hey, thanks fort coming over today!

Anonymous said...

I think that if the banks all around the world had been more concerned how they run the banks instead of how the employees dress we wouldn´t have had this last crisis :-) :-)

Have a great day now!

Marjie said...

They did not run the entire article in my morning paper, but I did laugh at this. Not to be too crude, but my underwear is always matched to my outfit. And no employer could ever tell me that wasn't allowed.

Now, if they had a hot blond acting as the underwear police, do you think the men would have objected?

Kyddryn said...

Hmm, Mister Hermit, sir...given the Swiss reputation for precision and exacting standards, this doesn't surprise me. I can even see why they would want flesh colored undies (in case of trouser, skirt, or other slippage) and why no garlic or onion...it's less about how well they handle the money and more about LOOKING like they can do the job...becuase, alas, many folks today are still all about the apearance and nothing about the substance.

Devil's advocate...who would you trust more with your dollars, the well dresed, tidy, neatly comported fellow, or the one with dirty glasses, a scraggly beard, and a dangly earring?

Mind, I know apearances can be (and often are) deceiving...just makin' a point...

Funny stuff, anyway!

Shade and Sweetwater,
K (who still hasn't had your...erm...grand-neice??...)(hey - we're almost related!)(I apologize in advance for any deleterious effect on your family gene pool - there's not enough chlorine in the world to undo the mess I'm about to make of it!!)