Sunday, January 16, 2011

Some Smiles For Sunday...!

Sometimes I just can't help myself!

I find some things that I think are funny, and just want to share them in case anybody might need a smile or two. This is one of those cases!

I had not heard any of these, and that in itself is pretty unusual. I found these funnies over at the Oregonian...I hope you get a little enjoyment out of them!

A fifth-grader asked her mother the age-old question, "How did I get here?"

Her mother told her, "God sent you."

"Did God send you, too?" asked the child.

"Yes, Dear," the mother replied.

"What about Grandma and Grandpa?" the child persisted.

"He sent them also," the mother said.

"Did he send their parents, too?" asked the child.

"Yes, Dear, He did," said the mother patiently.

"So you're telling me that there has been NO sex in this family for 200 years? No wonder everyone's so grouchy around here!"

Men, pay attention

A bagpiper was asked to play at a graveside service for a homeless man who had no family or friends. The service was to be at a pauper's cemetery in the Kentucky backcountry.

The bagpiper got lost on his way to the cemetery, and, being a man, didn't stop for directions. He arrived an hour late and all that was left were the diggers and crew, who were eating lunch.

So he went to the side of the grave and saw that the vault lid was already in place. Not knowing what else to do, he started to play. The workers put down their lunches and began to gather around.

When the bagpiper finished he headed for his car, and as he opened the door he heard one of the workers say:
"I never seen nothin' like that before, and I've been putting in septic tanks for 20 years."

Let me just draw a bead here

A man, we'll just call him Tex, walked into a convenience store in Austin, raised his T-shirt to reveal a caulk gun and demanded money.

When the clerk didn't take him seriously, Tex took out the caulk gun and attempted to pistol whip him (we guess it must not have been loaded). The clerk retaliated by hitting Tex with a plastic trash can.

Realizing things weren't going well (you have to at least give him credit for that), Tex fled empty-handed and jumped into a red pickup that was driven by a man dressed in drag. Needless to say, the whole situation attracted a lot of attention and someone got the license plate number of the truck, which led to Tex's arrest.

We're thinking his problem was the color of the truck.

Well, that's really all I had today! After all, Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest...right? That being said, I think I'll share a fresh cup of coffee with ya and then I'll start thinking about my nap! It's all about priorities, ya know?


Diane-Sage Whiteowl said...

I am not only smiling but LMAO! Thanks

Catman said...


HermitJim said...

Hey Diane-Sage...
Glad you got a smile out of the funnies!

Thanks for coming by today!

HermitJim said...

Hey Catman...
Good to see you grin, my friend!

I appreciate the visit!

Kellie said...

yep a blue or black truck would have given him a clean getaway! lol! thanks for the giggles!!

HermitJim said...

Hey Kellie...
I'm thinking you're probably right, girl!

I sure appreciate you dropping by today!

Anonymous said...

Great ones :-) :-) :-)

Have a great day now!

JoJo said...

Good Morning My Special One,
Lets see if this posts today.
Those were funny to read first thing this morning.
working on a nap already lol

Dizzy-Dick said...

Very good, Hermit. I always enjoy humor and think it should be a big part of our lives.