Thursday, February 24, 2011

Crazy Thursday...!


I just couldn't do anything too serious today!

So instead, I figured I'd give us all a little Steven Wright! That should you something to think about for the rest of the day, ya reckon?


Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
Steven Wright

Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Steven Wright

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?
Steven Wright

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
Steven Wright

Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.
Steven Wright

Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it.
Steven Wright

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.
Steven Wright

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a de-humidifier... I put them in the same room and let them fight it out.
Steven Wright

George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge... you can't hear him talk.
Steven Wright

Hermits have no peer pressure.
Steven Wright

How young can you die of old age?
Steven Wright

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
Steven Wright

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
Steven Wright

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
Steven Wright

I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.
Steven Wright

I like to reminisce with people I don't know.
Steven Wright

I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.
Steven Wright

I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.
Steven Wright

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.
Steven Wright

I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone.
Steven Wright

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
Steven Wright

Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.
Steven Wright

Coffee on the patio this morning. Maybe we can beat the rain!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Good Morning My Special One,
Good way to send me off today. :)
can't have any coffee this morning :( I wonder if I can order some for as soon as I wake up.

Baby Sis said...

Bubba -
Great giggle for the morning - I especailly like the "Hermit" one - sure you didn't come up with that one yourself? Sounds like one of your quips - off to the cardiologist this pm for results of last weeks's testing....uh=oh!

Big hugs -

Anonymous said...

Steven Wright was a one of a kind, I miss him.

Dizzy-Dick said...

Now you really got me a wondering. . .

Mechanic in Illinois said...

Neat story. The snow is coming again to central Illinois, I wonder what Steve Wright would have to say about that. Have a great thursday.

thecottagebythecranelakeolof1 said...

Great quotas :-) :-) :-)
Thanks for the laughs :-)

Have a great day now!
Christer.