Tuesday, September 14, 2010

How About Some 'Paraprosdokian' Examples...?

Here is a fun list for your amusement this morning!

I'm sure that you already know this, but these sentences are really Paraprosdokian sentences.

What's that, you say? I'm glad you asked! I just wanted to be the first to share this little bit of information with you!

A paraprosdokian (from Greek "παρα-", meaning "beyond" and "προσδοκία", meaning "expectation") is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. For this reason, it is extremely popular among comedians and satirists.

Some paraprosdokians not only change the meaning of an early phrase, but also play on the double meaning of a particular word, creating a syllepsis.

Ø Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Ø Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Ø The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Ø Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

Ø If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Ø We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

Ø War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Ø Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Ø The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Ø Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

Ø To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Ø A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

Ø How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Ø Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Ø Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

Ø I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

Ø A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Ø Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

Ø I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Ø I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

Ø Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Ø Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

Ø Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

Ø Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

Ø A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Ø You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

Ø The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Ø Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Ø A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Ø Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Ø Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Ø I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

Ø Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

Ø I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

Ø I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

Ø When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Ø You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Ø To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

Ø Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Ø Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

Ø A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Well, there ya go! Just a fun way to spend some time this Tuesday morning! Never hurts to learn a little bit from time to time, ya know?

Now, my friends, let's get some fresh coffee and sit outside. We can look over this list and see what we can use later!


Calandreya said...

Planning to do a word a day? I'd be copacetic.

HermitJim said...

Hey Calandreya...
Some of these words I'm finding, I can't even pronounce! I just found this interesting...

I sure do appreciate you coming by today!

Anonymous said...

Work Station, love it!


MamaHen said...

I laughed so hard at the one about the shark! that would be me! those are absolutely great!

Anonymous said...

A wonderful way to start the day. Thanks HJ.

Ben in Texas said...

Whew!!! Too early for all that..But does this one fit?
If you plan to have a battle of the minds, make sure your opponent has one ?

HermitJim said...

Hey Chucky...
Does seem to fit the bill, doesn't it? Ya know, I think I've used some of these before! Just never knew that they had a name!

Thanks for coming by today!

Hey Anne...
I think that many of us might fit into one of these catagories! this just might be one of them!

Anything you step on or get brushed by that you cannot see under the water becomes a creature that the imagine comes up with...and I have a very active imagination!

I sure appreciate you coming by today!

Hey YOF...
Glad to make you smile a bit this morning!

Congrats on the new grand baby! Always a joy to have a new youngster join the family!

Thanks so much, buddy, for coming by today!

Hey Ben...
To tell you the truth, it seems to fit to me! Many of these could be stored up and used at the proper time...say at a family reunion!

Never hurts to have plenty of ammunition for those heated discussions...just in case!

Thanks for coming by, my friend!

Marjie said...

I see plenty of these which are useful! Always amusing to visit.

HermitJim said...

Hey Marjie...
Glad you could find something useful here! Now it's just a matter of finding the right time to use them!

I appreciate the visit today!

JoJo said...

Good Morning My Special One
these are great fun I fit into some of them.

I thought I was wrong once but I was mistaken.

HermitJim said...

Hey JoJo...
I sure am glad to know I'm not the only one!

Just another thing we have in common, huh?

Thanks, sweetie, for coming by today!

Momlady said...

Hope you don't mind but I'm going to print these out so I can use them. Glad you found them! Most of them I haven't seen before. Have a great day!

Ken said...

..."be sure of hitting the target,shoot first,then call whatever you hit the target"...i resemble that remark...lol

...good post Jim

HermitJim said...

Hey Momlady...
That's what I put it up here for...for some of us to use when we could! The things I post on here are always free to save, print, or otherwise use in anyway you want!

Hey, I certainly appreciate you coming by today!

Hey Ken...
Sort of makes a lot of sense for a lot of us, doesn't it?

Thanks, my friend, for coming by today!