Friday, April 9, 2010

A Friday Way Of Thinking...!

It's Friday and I'm going a little crazy with all that's going on!

I can't tell ya too much about it yet, but after everything settles down some...I'll explain it in more detail!

With my mind wandering all over the place, I figured I would just post a few rambling thoughts so that you could see how screwed up my train of thought is, OK?

Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!

I have kleptomania,
but when it gets bad,
I take something for it.

Except that one where you're naked in church.

Sometimes too much to drink isn't enough.

Kinky is using a feather.
Perverted is using the whole chicken.

Heaven is Where:
The Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian,
The Mechanics are German,
The Lovers are French
It's all organized by the Swiss.

Hell is Where:
The Police are German,
The Chefs are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The Lovers are Swiss
It's all organized by the Italians.

My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Welcome to Utah
Set your watch back 2020years..

In just two days from now,
tomorrow will be yesterday.

A bartender is just a pharmacist
with a limited inventory

The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

I may be schizophrenic,
but at least I have each other.

I am a Nobody.
Nobody is Perfect.
Therefore I am Perfect.

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

Dyslexics Have More Nuf.

Sometimes I even put it in the food.

When you work here,
you can name your own salary.
I named mine, "Slim".

Reality is only an illusion
that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.

I like cats too.
Let's exchange recipes.

Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.

I am having an out-of-money

Don't sweat the petty things.
Don't pet the sweaty things.

Corduroy pillows are making headlines!

See? I told ya so...! Maybe some fresh coffee on the patio will help keep my mind on a short leash! Certainly can't hurt...!


Ben in Texas said...

First Thought I had was. OH NO!!! Jim's off his medication again. The Next was,, Why did I NOT set my coffee down before I started reading those? OH well, at least I got something to do this morning, Dry the Coffee off my Screen and out of the Keyboard!!

HermitJim said...

Hey Ben...
Sorry if I caused you to mess up the screen! I figured that you could use a chuckle this morning...!

Thanks for coming by today!

TEAM HALL said...

hahaha A chuckle was definitely needed this morning Jim!!
Thanks for those...

HermitJim said...

Hey Cath...
Glad you got a chuckle out of it! Every now and then, we all need a bit of frivolity to add to our day!

I really appreciate you coming by today, my friend!

Dafthermit said...

Hi Jim just what i needed my friend so funny

many thanks for popping bye the old rusty bus

peace and light my friend

Momlady said...

Thanks for the chuckles, Jim. Here's one for you...."I'm out of my mind, please leave a message."

HermitJim said...

Hey Andy...
It's always a pleasure to see you, my friend!

Your visit is greatly appreciated...have a wonderful day!

Hey Momlady...
That's pretty good! I haven't heard this particular one before!

Hope all is going well at the DD's house!

Thanks so much for coming by today!

JoJo said...

WOW it happened again. I left a comment. Oh OK I'll try again. :)
I loved these made me laugh. It is so nice to read fun things instead of sad or bad.
Hope you had a great day. Hugs

HermitJim said...

Hey JoJo...
Sorry that you are having such a hard time getting through, Sweetie!

This one came through OK, at least!

Glad you could come by for a visit...are you at the new place now? Or will they at least have Internet service there?

Thanks for coming by today!

JoJo said...

Not leaving until after the memorial May 1. And yes they will have connection I wouldn't go if they didn't lol. It is very beautiful there, trees lots of green, great fishing and cool temps. Wish you could come up.

Mechanic in Illinois said...

One of my favorites is"Trespassers will be shot,survivers will be shot again." Thanks for the laugh and another great lesson.

HermitJim said...

Hey Mechanic...
I like that one as well! There are a lot of great sayings that maybe I should do a post on some of them!

Thanks for coming by today...!