Sunday, October 31, 2010

It Must Be True, It's On The Internet...!

I think that's how many folks are now days!

If it's on the Internet, the television, or in the paper...then it must be gospel! It's to these folks that I present today's post!

Now I don't know if these are true or not, but I can tell you that I did indeed find them on the Internet (for whatever that's worth)!

Random thoughts from the Internets

World's toughest job? How about being the guy who has to put the whup-ass into the can?

The concept of the "paperless office" looks really good -- on paper.

They have big billboards outside of Meade, Kan., telling you how to get to the Dalton Gang's hideout. No wonder those poor dumb suckers got shot.

My boss called me into his office and said we needed to talk turkey about my attitude. I gobbled at him for three minutes and now I'm out of a job!

After being caught relieving myself behind the mall I've been told that I'll be tried by a jury of my pee-ers.

I got a spam e-mail the other day that said, "Try Colon Cleansing At Home!" Great idea, but if I'd just received it a day earlier, I wouldn't have been booted from the car wash.

Absinthe make the mind go yonder.

How do I know America is getting obese? The world record for phone booth stuffing was set in 1957, people. Nineteen. Fifty. Seven.

If Anthony Hopkins ever decides to open a restaurant for cannibals, I bet he calls the house special, "Remains of the Day."

Those giant buffalo herds were destroyed by the same thing troubling me: excessive roaming charges.

The sure way to tell if a man is a bachelor is to check his silverware. If it's chewed up from going through the garbage disposal a few times, he's for real.

Does my bologna have a first name in order to better communicate with the other cold cuts in the refrigerator? So far, the only other meat I am aware of that has a first name is Frank.

Now for more of these Internet can jump over to ! That's where I got these!

I say, let's get some fresh coffee and go outside! Nice and cool out on the patio!


Anonymous said...

True or not, but they are truly funny :-) :-)

Have a great day now!

chinasyndrome said...

Puttin the whup ass in the can,too funny Bro.By the way I have been single since divorce a few years ago,well when company comes over yeah I have to search for remaning couple of spoons that haven't been grinded up by disposal!Ha Ha Have a wonderful day Thanks for a funny start!


HermitJim said...

Hey Christer...
Glad you got a kick out of them!

Guess that the cold weather is starting to set in where you live, huh?

Thanks for coming by today!

Hey China...
Better than me! I use plastic silverware when ever possible! Of course, I don't get a lot of company!

I appreciate you coming by today, my friend!

Momlady said...

Good ones, Jim. Always nice to start the day with a smile.

JoJo said...

Good Morning My Special One,
Those are funny, good way to start the day with a chuckle.
pass the pot please I have time for a fast cup.

HermitJim said...

Hey Momlady...
Glad I could help with the smiles this morning!

Thanks so much for coming by!

HermitJim said...

Hey JoJo...
Where have you been, girl? I keep checking your blog to make sure I am up to date!

Good to see you this morning, sweetie! Thanks for coming by!

Mechanic in Illinois said...

Thanks for the great blog and have a safe and happy Halloween.

Ken said...,good ones Jim...i would've added these too...

"i wonder if the pandas coat delineates the areas of white and dark meat?"
"of course there's a reason to beat a dead horse,it shows the other horses that you mean business"

HermitJim said...

I'm certainly glad you liked it, my friend!

Thanks for the visit!

Hey Ken...
Haven't seen the horse one before! I like it!

Thanks for coming by, buddy!

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