Monday, July 20, 2009
Regardless of the bad rap we sometimes lay off on Mother Nature and her creatures, you have to admit that she can throw us a curve once in a while!
When you have company like this show up for supper, it's best to go ahead and throw a couple of extra pounds of steak on the grill! In fact, you may want to just bypass the grill and put the raw steak directly on the table!
Now, I don't mind when company drops in at meal time, especially if they are well behaved. There are, however, a couple of questions that come to mind right off! First of all, what do you talk about at the table with a 700 or 800 pound bear? Obviously you don't want to argue with him ...about ANYTHING!
Secondly, do you even bother putting his food on a plate, or do you just gently place it on the table in front of him? I mean, you don't want to look like you are uncouth or anything, right?
I guess the third question that comes to mind is just what in the world do you serve a bear to drink? Something tells me I don't want this fur ball...oops, I mean my guest, having access to alcohol of ANY kind, if you know what I mean! I'm thinking that tea or water would be best, because seems like I read somewhere that bears don't like coffee! Must be a bear thing!
Just a guess here, but I think that a pot of honey for dessert would be more than acceptable! I have a feeling that fresh fruit, maybe apples, might be good as well!
Now you do what you want, but as for me...I think I'll just eat standing up! Not that I mind sharing my table with a bear, but I figure that I can start running faster from a standing position should the need arise! I know that the guys that teach this stuff say to just fall down and don't run...but, my friends, not only am I going to run, but I'll probably leave an easy to follow trail behind me in the process! I don't think I'll be able to help myself, ya know?
Now, my friends, let's get some coffee and sit on the patio for a bit...and don't worry about the bear! He'll leave when he's ready!