Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Gotta Love Those Differences...!


I'm sure that most of you have already seen this, or at least already knew this...but it never hurts to go over it again! You know, just in case!

My sister sent me this reminder and I thought I would post it once again! Sometimes it's best to have these little mundane tidbits of information to stay informed, ya know?

The difference between the North and the South - at last, clearly explained.....


The North has Bloomingdale's , the South has Dollar General .

The North has coffee houses, the South has Waffle Houses ..

The North has dating services, the South has family reunions.

The North has switchblade knives; the South has .45's

The North has double last names; the South has double first names.

The North has Indy car races; The South has stock car races .

North has Cream of Wheat , the South has grits.

The North has green salads, the South has collard greens .

The North has lobsters, the South has crawfish .

The North has the rust belt; the South has the Bible Belt ..

FOR NORTHERNERS MOVING SOUTH...

In the South : --If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.... Do not buy food at this store.

Remember, 'Y'all' is singular, 'all y'all' is plural, and 'all y'all's' is plural possessive

Get used to hearing 'You ain't from round here, are ya?'

Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later on how to use it.

Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying. They can't understand you either.. The first Southern statement to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective 'big'ol,' truck or 'big'ol' boy. Most Northerners begin their Southern-influenced dialect this way. All of them are in denial about it.

The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper .

Be advised that 'He needed killin..' is a valid defense here.

If you hear a Southerner exclaim, 'Hey, y'all watch this,' you should stay out of the way. These are likely to be the last words he'll ever say.

If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the smallest accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store.. It doesn't matter whether you need anything or not. You just have to go there.

Do not be surprised to find that 10-year olds own their own shotguns, they are proficient marksmen, and their mammas taught them how to aim.

In the South, we have found that the best way to grow a lush green lawn is to pour gravel on it and call it a driveway.

AND REMEMBER: If you do settle in the South and bear children, don't think we will accept them as Southerners.. After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we ain't gonna call 'em biscuits.


Now, I hope to serve as a reminder of the basic differences between the South and the North! Of course, to all my friends in the North...I d hope you realize that it is all meant to be in fun!

Life is too short for us not to be able to laugh at ourselves just a bit, don't you think?

Now c'mon, my friends, and let's get some fresh coffee and sit outside for a bit! Gonna be a pretty day!

18 comments:

OGT said...

Since we are all paranoid, I thought Id post this comment so your readers can see another paranoid bloggers blogg at www.offgridterlingua.com

click my blog and then click the enter my blog link at the bottom of the front page.

I do read your blog regularly Jim, but I am not commenting as much as I used to and eventually will not comment anywhere. Thanks for your blog Jim.

The cottage by the Cranelake said...

Love it! :-) :-) :-)
Have a great day now!
Christer.

HermitJim said...

Hey OGT...
As long as you continue to drop by, buddy!

Thanks for the links...and for dropping by today!


Hey Christer...
Glad you liked it, my friend! Good to see you this morning!

Thanks for coming by!

Anonymous said...

I love it! You wake me up every morning with a bellylaugh. This line today was the best: .. 'After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we ain't gonna call 'em biscuits.'
Sissy

TEAM HALL said...

After all, if the cat had kittens in the oven, we ain't gonna call 'em biscuits.
That's the funniest line I've heard!! LOL
Thanks for the morning giggle Jim! You have yourself a good one!

Baby Sis said...

Well, I'm "fixin' to" get to work, so had to check in - thanks for the morning highlight!

Big Hugs -

JoJo said...

Good Morning My Special Friend, This was so funny. I loved it.
Coffee on the patio sounds great to me I will bring some extra fresh ground coffee along.
Hope Christer is healing well.

K.D.Storm said...

HEY!!! You forgot the four most important ones

1. There is a good chance that your cousin could also double as both your brother and your prom date.This helps to keep the attendence at family reunions down in order to have enough food for everyone.

2.A tornado is not seen as a storm as much as moving day for some.

3.A tornado is also about the time that the woman with twelve kids and in a moo-moo remembers that yoyu have her cassrole dish and will announce this on national tv when the reports interview her with her special hair-do of pink rollers (yeah we still use them-LMAO)

last but not least...If you hear banjos in the woods...RUN LIKE HELL!!!! Yes I am from the south LMFAO! Hope you get a chuckle from this. Have a great day and enjoy your coffee :)

SHARON said...

Mama was from WV, there were 37 grandchildren. I was the only YANKEE in the bunch. Reunions were not fun for me, but, OMG the food was wonderful!

Ginger said...

HeHeHe :-)

Mechanic in Illinois said...

Most of these could fit into to the "You might be a red-neck" category. The south lives again!

HermitJim said...

Hey Sissy...
I'm glad that you got a kick out of the post today! Always a good thing if we can start the day with a laugh!

Thanks so much for coming by today, my friend!


Hey Cath...
Happy to see you this morning, my friend! Pleased that you liked the post!

Is the weather still doing good there? Hope you're starting to see signs of Spring...

Thanks so much for coming by today.


Hey Sis...
I told ya I'd put this on the Blog...! Even gave you credit for it!

Glad you are "fixin'" to go to work! Glad I don't hafta!

See ya this weekend...


Hey K.D...
These are some I haven't heard! Guess I'll have to put them in my book of things to remember!

I really appreciate you coming by today!


Hey Sharon...
Yeah, the food is usually pretty good at the reunions, that's for sure! I think that is the main reason that all the aunts and older cousins were so "huggable" in size!

I sure do thank you for coming by today...!


Hey Ginger...Glad to see I made you grin a bit today! That always makes me happy, ya know?

Thanks for the visit today, my friend!

HermitJim said...

Hey Mechanic...
It does indeed live on! They could definatly fit into the redneck group!

Thanks, my friend, for dropping in today!

Anonymous said...

Lol, those are some good observations sir. Thanks for posting them.

HermitJim said...

Hey Anon 12:12...
My pleasure! Always glad if folks can find a little bit of humor for their day here!

I sure do appreciate you coming by today...!

Did it MY way said...

I was not born in the south, but I got here as soon as possible.

LMAO

See Ya.

Argentum Vulgaris said...

I have heard snippets of that before, but seeing it all together makes sense.

Biscuits???? LOL

AV

Kansas Scout said...

As a young man I moved to Southern Missouri and attended College in Northern Arkansas. This was Soooo true! I still use Ya'll and I love it. Good post!