Saturday, March 29, 2014

Yes, They Do Vote And Procreate...!

We are all aware that there are some folks out in the world that could be called stupid...dangerously stupid!

I think this list of some of these folks (sent to me by Baby Sis ) shows you what I mean! These are real news stories, and that scares me more than a little!

Top 8 Morons Of 2013.

1. *WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP???*

AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.

Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.

2. *WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS:*

Police in Oakland, CA spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home.

After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them in the police line, shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself up.'

3. *WHAT WAS PLAN B???*

An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.

4. *THE GETAWAY!!!*

A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the money in the cash drawer.

Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until police showed up and grabbed him.

5. *DID I SAY THAT???*

Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot', the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"

6. *ARE WE COMMUNICATING???*

A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart'.

'Is this her first child?' the doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'

7. *NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!!!*

In Modesto ,CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

8. *THE GRAND FINALE!!!*

Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an hour east of Bakersfield, CA, some folks, new to boating, were having a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand new 22 foot boat, going.

It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver, no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may be able to tell them what was wrong.

A thorough topside check revealed everything in perfect working condition. The engine ran fine, the out-drive went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch.

So, one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath. He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.

*Now remember these are all true stories*

Under the boat, still strapped securely in place, was the trailer!

Yes, my friends, it can be a weird and dangerous place out there! Almost makes you want to stay home, ya know?

Coffee out on the patio this morning. Shortbread cookies to share!

8 comments:

Gorges Smythe said...

And I bet I can guess HOW they voted!

Linda said...

Those were sooo funny.

Sixbears said...

Sometimes I weep for the species.
:)

Mamahen said...

I needed to laugh n I did, until I thought again about the fact that, these are just the ones we know about!

JO said...

I have a neighbor who is just that dumb. Scary! But these are funny!

HermitJim said...

Hey Gorges...
Certainly wouldn't be hard to do!

Thanks for coming by today!



Hey Linda...
I'm sure glad you liked them!

Thanks for stopping by today!



Hey Sixbears...
I know just what you mean!

Thanks for the visit today!



Hey Mamahen...
Always seems to be enough to fill several list!

Thanks for dropping by today!



Hey Jo...
I think our neighborhood has a few as well! Wonder if we can get insurance for them just in case?

Thanks, sweetie, for coming by today!

thecottagebythecranelaketwo said...

One can't but love all of them :-) but I especially liked number two and three :-)

Have a great day!
Christer.

Felinae said...

LOL! Some of those really had me laughing out loud, but I am sorry to see that most of them happened in CA. I can assure you that not everyone out here is a few crayons short of a full box. :)