Thursday, July 31, 2008

Tips For Fighting Common Fears...

1. Checking….and checking….and checking.

One day you notice an odd shaped mole on your leg for the first time and you think to yourself “I should get that checked in case it’s cancerous” and you make a mental note to book an appointment with your doctor. That is a sensible reaction. But what if you check it again an hour later and then an hour after that and then an hour after that? Every time you check that mole your brain registers that nothing has changed and therefore it must be all the checking that is keeping the potential cancer at bay. You need to retrain your brain by gradually cutting down your checking of anything – did you lock the door, did you switch the oven off, did you send that important email and so on. When you feel the urge yet again to check your “sent” folder, get up and do something else instead. At first, you may find it difficult but after a few days you will find you have less of a desire to “just make sure” so regularly. What will then happen in your brain is that the action of checking will no longer be connected to the positive result.


2. Putting things off .

Guess what? Procrastination is just another form of worrying. When you procrastinate, you put off doing things you don’t feel totally comfortable doing or are anxious about, instead of getting on with them. For example, you have overspent on your debit card but you are scared to check your bank balance; you put off looking until the very last minute and then get charged because you have gone over your overdraft. No one can blame you for not wanting to face a big overdraft but ignoring important issues just makes your anxiety worse. You need to ask yourself what the cost and benefit will be of facing what you dread now. It may be that you get some bad news but at least you will know what you are dealing with sooner rather than later, when the situation may be harder to change.

Another way to avoid procrastination is to tackle the things you hate to do first thing in the morning therefore leaving an entire worry-free day ahead of you!FACING YOUR FEARS HEAD-ON ALLOWS YOU TO STOP WORRYING

3. Practice, practice and more practice .

Being well prepared is a good way to gain confidence before entering into any stressful situation. However, there is such a thing as trying to be too perfect. For example, if you hate speaking in public you rehearse your speech for hours. The good news is that your speech goes really well but the bad news is that you feel mentally drained afterwards! The point I am making here is that you could have been just as prepared after 3 hours practice instead of spending 10 hours practising. With those extra 7 hours you could have done something else which was a lot more relaxing.

To prevent yourself from overdoing it, set a limit from the beginning on how much time you are going to spend on a particular project. If you still feel the need to prepare more after your time limit, remind yourself of the work you have already done. Then, when you experience success without a huge investment of time you will begin to trust yourself and your strengths more.


4. Think it over….and over…..and over….

Ruminating or mulling over a problem or decision over and over again is something that women in particular are very good at (sorry ladies!). When you ruminate about something it is because there is some reality you just can’t swallow. For example, you hit if off with someone you’ve recently met and arrange to meet again but they never ring. Why not? You sit there going through all these different scenarios as to why they never rang, searching for a clear answer.

People who regularly ruminate believe that if they keep thinking things through, it will all eventually make sense. The reality is some things never make sense!! It is important to recognise and remind yourself that there is a limit to what you are able to know and understand or control.

I know people that say to me “I am a born worrier and will never change”. Believe me, if you genuinely want to stop spending your life worrying about everything, try out some of the advice in this post and I think you will see a difference!

Reiki Healing Spain says: There are people in this world who want to spend their lives worrying about everything... that is their choice so you need to respect it and let them get on with it…. after all WHY WORRY ABOUT IT?

Now what do you say to some fresh coffee ?


blondie said...

Well then I say we kick back on the porch, share some quiet conversation and coffee while enjoying the cool morning air.
Sounds peaceful doesn't it?
Thanks for the advise today Jim :)
I feel more relaxed already.
blondie ;)

HermitJim said...

Hey THAT sounds like a plan I can really get behind! Leave it to my favorite Blond lady to come up with a very sensible and easy to follow suggestion!

Now I know why I keep ya around! Thanks for coming by, Kiddo!


Nanny said...

Good thoughts, Skip.. . Right on target re: worrying - -Mom

HermitJim said...

Hey Mom...thanks for coming by. Sort of follows the conversation we were having the other day, doesn't it?

Appreciate the comments.

Myrna said...

HermitJim - would you believe I missplaced a piece of paper... and am so frustrated that I can't find. I remember where I last saw it - but it's no there.. anyway off to get a haircut and nails done - and while I am there - relaxing and being worry-free , I will gentle coax myself into not giving that piece of paper one more thought ( until I find it !!)
Have a god day !!

HermitJim said...

Hey Myrna...thanks for stopping by. The paper will probably show up the minute you stop looking for it...that's usually how it works.

Sometimes trying too hard is more detrimental than helpful, ya know? Just relax and you'll probably go right to it without even trying.

Thanks for coming by

js said...

Hey Jim? What's going on? Are you worried? Do you have fears? There must be a good reason for these posts.

Myself? Am not aware of any fears or worries. Maybe it is subconscious.

But I have none of the symptoms you mention. Am just sick of this holographic matrix ego-made/mind-made realm. There are many like it. I've visited them.

So...... what to do and what not to do? I just raise a question.

But there must be something going on with you to pose all those specific questions. Let us know Jim.


HermitJim said...

Hey John...thanks for stopping by. Nothing going on with me, just posting articles that I thought would be helpful to some folks. Me...I don't worry about things I can't control. I just relax and let the good things come my way by inviting them in with good and pleasant thoughts.

Thanks for asking though