Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Humorous Tuesday...!

I thought we would try something just a bit different today.

I'm gonna tell you a story that I thought was pretty funny, and thought it might make you smile!

Dear Sir,
I am writing in response to your request for additional information in Block 3 of the accident report form. I put “poor planning” as the cause of my accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust the following details will be sufficient.

I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story building. When I completed my work, I found that I had some bricks left over which, when weighed later were found to be slightly in excess of 500lbs.

Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a barrel by using a pulley, which was attached to the side of the building on the sixth floor.

Securing the rope at ground I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it tightly to ensure a slow descent of the bricks.

You will note in Block 11 of the accident report form that I weigh 135lbs.

Due to my surprise at being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the side of the building.

In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel, which was now proceeding downward at an equally impressive speed. This explained the fractured skull, minor abrasions and the broken collar bone, as listed in section 3 of the accident report form.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two knuckles deep into the pulley.

Fortunately by this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of beginning to experience pain.

At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground and the bottom fell out of the barrel.

Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, that barrel weighed approximately 50 lbs. I refer you again to my weight. As you can imagine, I began a rapid descent, down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and several lacerations of my legs and lower body.

Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked.

I am sorry to report, however,as I lay there on the pile of bricks, in pain, unable to move, I again lost my composure and presence of mind and let go of the rope and I lay there watching the empty barrel begin its journey back down onto me. This explains the two broken legs.

I hope this answers your inquiry.

Kevin R,

Guess we all have days like this, but luckily just not too often! If it weren't for bad luck, this guy wouldn't have any luck at all!

Coffee in the kitchen this morning. It's a little too chilly outside!


Gorges Smythe said...

I wouldn't want to work with him.

Anonymous said...

Was his name Wiley Coyote - I think I saw that one !

Phyllis (N/W Jersey) said...

Thanks for the good laugh Mr. Hermit!
Foggy and 41 here. I'll bring some freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.

Randall said...

The report didn't say he had three brothers Moe, Larry and curly. Funny story,, thanks, warm for mid- dec here. Just coffee please.

linda m said...

Very funny story, I needed a good laugh this morning. Sorta sounds like the story of my life somedays. Very chilly here 25 degrees with snow predicted for us in the next couple of days. :(

JO said...

OUCH! Funny story. Yes if it weren't for his bad luck he would not have any good.

Plenty cold here at 35, so coffee nice and hot and in the kitchen.
got to finish shopping today! I thought I was done but no.

Kyddryn said...

Hey, Mister Hermit, sir, did you know there's a song along the lines of that story? I think it's called The Sick Note, and it always makes me laugh!

Thanks for the smile.

Shade and Sweetwater,

Duke said...

I can totally see that happening. very funny.

HermitJim said...

Hey Gorges...
Me either! He was probably the safety officer!

Thanks for the visit today!

Hey Anon 5:28...
We could be safe pinning that nickname on him!

Thanks for coming by today!

Hey Phyllis...
I do like those fresh baked cookies!

Your weather doesn't sound too bad! As long as you get a little sunshine!

Thanks for coming over this morning!

Hey Randall...
Does sound like something that would make for a funny short, doesn't it?

Kinda warm here for this time of year!

Thanks for dropping in today!

Hey Linda...
Now that sounds like Christmas weather for sure!

Sounds like my life story as of late as well!

Thanks for the visit today!

Hey Jo...
I know what you mean about hating to go shopping this time of year.

Thanks, sweetie, for coming over today!

Hey Kyddryn...
I'll have to look it up! I need all the smiles I can get!

Thanks for the card and the pics of the kids! They are sure getting big!

Many thanks for coming over today!

Hey Duke...
One more reason to stay off of high places!

Thanks, buddy, for coming by today!

Sixbears said...

Some days you have luck, but all of it bad!

commoncents said...

TOO FUNNY! I grabbed this with a strong Hat Tip to CWTH. Loved it!!!!

Common Cents